| 2020 | 06 | 30 | june empties |

Finally at the one photo point in this process. 

| Tisserand | Sweet almond | 100ml | £5 | Tisserand |
| Arm & Hammer | Advanced White Extreme | £2 | 
| Rihanna | Rebelle | 100ml | £40 | 
| Yes To | Watermelon Super Fresh Jelly Mask | 89ml | £10.99 |
| Hada Labo | Hyaluronic Acid Face Wash | £9.99 | 
| Original Source | Water Infusion Pineapple and Lemon | £2 | 
| Shay & Blue | Salt Caramel | 30ml | £30 | 
| Glossier | Priming Moisturiser Rich | 50ml | £29 |
| Palmers | Cocoa Butter Conditioner | 250ml | £3.99 | 
| Tresemme | Botanique Nourish and Replenish | 400ml | £4.99 |

| Leganza | Colouring Conditioner | Bitter Chocolate | £4.75 | 
| The Ordinary | Lactic Acid 10% + HA | 30ml | £5.80 | Cult Beauty |


The lowest total of the year. 

Time for another check-in I think. 

| 2020 | 06 | 30 | beauty purchases june |

| L'oreal | Tattoo Signature Eyeliner | £6.99 |
| Nyx | Brow Pomade | £6.50 |
| Colgate | Charcoal Toothpaste | £2 |
| Yes To Cucumbers | Conditioner | 280ml | £4.95 | 
| Hangsun | Epilator | F230 | £29.99 |
| Babyliss | Pro Triple Barrell Waver | £50 |
| Nyx | High Glass Illuminator | £9 | 
| L'oreal | True Match Foundation | 1W | £9.99 |
| The Cheeky Panda | Bamboo Baby Wipes | £2.99 | 
| Kosas | Revealer Concealer | £24 |
| Kosas | Blusher/highlighter | £28 |
| Kosas | Foundation Oil | £42 | 
| Noughty | Wave Hello Shampoo | £6.95 |
| Noughty | Wave Hello Shampoo | £6.95 |
| Essie | Gel Couture | Pre Show Jitters | £9.99 | 
| Super Facialist | Hyaluronic Night Cream | £16 |
| Sunday Rain | Body Scrub | Acai Berry | £6 |
| Sunday Rain | Body Scrub | Mango and Coconut | £6 |
| Hada Labo | Anti ageing super hydrator | 150ml | £17 |
| Lixir Skin | Night Switch Retinol 1% | £28 |
| Lixir Skin | Good Skin Trio | £34 | 
| Real Techniques | Miracle Complexion Sponge | £5.99 |
| Revolution Pro | Hydra Matte Setting Powder | £6 |
| Benefit | Double Liner | Duo Set | £18.50 | 


this was a combination of a few things i'd been putting off buying and i wish i had managed to keep going. 

| 2020 | 06 | 30 | wicked. |

okay i am already invested in this as my new method of keeping a journal. 

i have loved the fact my blog is a snapshot into my life for the past 8ish years. 

[we are NOT talking about the mass delete of 2017 because that was a bad break up and i cannot believe i deleted my entire blog..... the whole thing. cue like three months of crying and trying to find a way to get it back - can confirm we did not get it all back but we here]


this video is a snapshot into what i don't know but it's a snapshot into my internal monlogue. and i reckon in a few years i'll appreciate this. 

| 2020 | 06 | 30 | dish soap |

we were 18, and drunk. 

hopefully the fact that we were 18 clarifies that we were very drunk and a little rowdy. 

it was a bbq turned party in the garden of my friend lucy and we were lamenting over the woes of our love lives. 

the attention had turned to newly single me, and how my self destructive behaviour had ended yet another love story early, with what could be somewhat described as fireworks. 

'you see the thing is sophie' (i'm heavily paraphrasing here because drunk people don't tend to get to the point within the hour) 'you just don't let your guard down'

Lucy had probably swilled most of her wine glass onto the floor so it's a miracle she'd managed to consume any at all, but her point still stood. 

it could be argued that my relationships had followed a similar recipe over the two years she'd known me - i start liking someone, they start liking me. i start liking them some more, panic they either don't like me that much or will end up being the cause of great pain, so take control of the situation and end it then and there. problem solved. 

i won't deny it. she was right. i can remember this conversation lasted another few hours, with the conclusion being i should jump straight in with another guy they knew i liked. 
cue: yet another relationship that ended badly. 

i can look back and smile on these mistakes, but in all honestly her words still ring in my ears. i'm not good at trusting people. i don't trust they'll think of me. i don't trust they'll consider my feelings when they're thinking of their future and decisions that will impact me. i don't trust they'll give me the same consideration i wholeheartedly give them. 

so i run. 

this is a habit i worked so hard to break. it's a legacy of my upbringing, and something i can feel is so ingrained into my very being. but it's also very unfair on the people around me. last night i felt the same fear rise up in my chest and i had to spend around two hours batting it away with whatever implements were to hand. mainly a tennis racket and two pairs of shoes. 

go figure. 


| 2020 | 06 | 29 | weekly wind down 24 |

this week was exceptionally exceptional. 
actually it was. I know i've been saying they're all quite good - i guess it's just that we're slowly returning to normal and i'm appreciating the little things more and more. 

i had two days off during the week and whilst i don't feel that rested, I do feel pretty fulfilled. 

I'm trying to walk more so have started listening to audio books as I go. It's a really nice way of covering ground without forcing yourself to march around the block - I actually wanted to keep going today but ran out of time!

'angus climb on that i want a picture for my blog'

and voila.

i've been enjoying paddling more. 

i managed to have a panic attack at the beginning of this session and i know it's cause i was a little bit upset... but once that was all sorted it was a lovely paddle. 

i may have also jumped back into a rowing boat. maybe. 

this picture makes me laugh - they're wearing matching jumpers because they're best friends now and like to hang out. 


| 2020 | 06 | 26 | beach |

angus and i have been a thing for 7 months now which is just insane given that three of those have been locked down. confined in one living space with very little else to do other than eat crisps and watch netflix. 

we do both things. 

a lot. 

now then. my boss has asked all of the team to take a certain amount of holiday by the end of june - so that meant i had two days off this week. so what did we do? paddle? yeah course. i even made friends and swam in the river. dreamy. 

but we also planned a mini trip to the beach. which beach, we didn't know. 


| 2020 | 06 | 22 | declutter 18 |

| Issey Miyake | L'eau D'Issey Pour Homme | 125ml | £47.99 | John Lewis |
| Malin+Goetz | Dark Rum Perfume Oil | 9ml | £40 | Space NK |
| The Essence Vault | Frangipani & Pineapple | 100ml | £24.95 | The Essence Vault |
| Calvin Klein | Escape | 100ml | £50 | The Perfume Shop |
| Issey Miyake | L'eau D'Issey | 100ml | £77.50 | John Lewis |

this scent was one i'd pinned as a 'this one is gonna stay around forever' - and here i am realising how much it smells like toilet cleaner and irritates my nose. 


| 2020 | 06 | 22 | weekly wind down 23 |

we have had a busy week. 
it's actually quite tiring socialising again - something i feel this week has won in that regard. 
dads birthday was saturday, and we celebrated oli's the day after. 

i paddled well over 24 miles this weekend and went for quite an adventure. 
got lost at hurley. oopsie. 

sam didn't want to play the keyboard. 

angus finally joined me for a walk - but he's not the most morning inclined individual. 

this is mia. she's perfect. a bit barky and a total attention seeker but that's okay. 

i think this was my worst ever idea with regard to birthday card designs. live and learn eh?


| 2020 | 06 | 18 | screw that |

life is starting to feel a little less restricted. 

it's so surreal. 

we are having a great week though.

monday we skyped mike and alec and ended up playing random board games for almost two hours. i wasn't very good. 

Tuesday, the weather was a lot nicer so we wandered around Marlow with another school friend, grabbing an icecream and generally being nuisances. 

I had yesterday off school so aside from a little lie in we managed to cram in a long paddle (3 x 5k i'll have you know), a walk, a sandwich and then a takeaway pint from the Bounty. 

all whilst checking out the beached cows. 


Angus has been here since basically the 25th may. It's been an easier transition than I anticipated and i'm really enjoying it more and more as time goes by. i'm constantly reminded how easy we've had this lockdown, and how having our friends and family close by has relieved a lot of the frustration we could have experienced. 

| 2020 | 06 | 18 | declutter 17 |

This was an interesting one. I'm going through a really weird phase with perfume, in that my gut instinct is to get rid of it all... but i'm not sure if that's going to flip on its head in like a week. classic. 

Add caption

| Rihanna | Rebelle | 100ml | £40 | Superdrug |
| Rihanna | Rebelle | 100ml | £40 | Superdrug |
| Chanel | Coco Madamoiselle | 100ml | £118 | John Lewis |
| Giorgio Armani | Luminous Silk Foundation | Shade 3 | £42 | John Lewis |
| Palmers | Cocoa Butter Shampoo | 400ml | £3.99 | Superdrug |


| 2020 | 06 | 15 | weekly wind down 22 |

excuse me, how is your new normal?

i've been counting sharpies because it's fun.

we've had a fairly uneventful week. the vet trip was seriously underwhelming excepting for the sheer volume of cat pee stored in pumpkins bladder. what a boy. 

the weather has been a little less warm this week so i actually put tights on. 


| 2020 | 06 | 05 | parsley |

we have had such a good week. I feel like my brain is fired back up and in the mood to be productive.
i've been doing a lot of thinking lately - courtesy of my quite long paddles. 
it feels amazing to be back on the water, but it's a lonely two hours and sometimes i get a bit lost in my head. 

i've started a new course too - counselling level 2. it's not scientific, or objective, so going to be a bit of a learning curve for myself about how i measure the success. 

we shall see eh?


| 2020 | 06 | 01 | weekly wind down 21 |

i saw mike on saturday for a sort of early birthday celebration. we literally had nothing new to talk over. because we're doing nothing new. but it was great to see him and i feel weirdly refreshed from the social interaction.

the rummikub word championships has now taken a competitive turn and the scores are closer than ever (read that: i lost the last two games so the others are catching up). 

we're actually not going stir crazy during this weird time of life.
it's so weird.
it's not a punishment - you're actually allowed to have fun. i think that's the part most people are struggling with.
we need to be sensible, and make the most of our time.
fill it with nice things.

we've made fish and chips from scratch, created our own battle ships board, whipped up raspberry sorbet and blueberry pancakes.
we've walked as much as we like and spent time in the sun.
we've read books we probably wouldn't have and set aside time to watch netflix.

i also want to see some newer versions of masterchef. more realistic.

for example:

masterchef - the 9-5
where contestants have to travel by tube for an hour before the start of the cooking and wear a suit. they'll also be bombarded by chores like washing and cleaning whilst members of their 'family' run in at awkward times and make demands.
lets see who can whip up a souffle with that kind of pressure.

or masterchef - student
contestants will have to cook in a student house where all the ingredients cost 50p or less or have been stolen by some random passerby. at least twice they'll be interrupted by groups doing predrinks or the oven won't actually work.

or masterchef lockdown
every single ingredient you wanted isn't there.


angus has actually been here for almost 10 weeks which is a little insane.