Wednesday

| 2020 | 04 | 01 | a quarter |

so.
 it is time to reflect on the first three months of this process. to see if the facts and figures align with anything i feel or have experienced.



1. i've spent far more than i had intended - £295 is sort of the total for 6 months rather than 3.

I have highlighted in green below the things i feel that i don't regret. they total around £125, putting the things which I regret at £169.67. 

| Giorgio Armani | Luminous Silk Foundation | £42 | John Lewis |
| Clinique | Moisture Surge Overnight Mask | 15ml | £7 |
| Dr Jart+ | Dermask Vital Hydra Sleeping Mask | £14 | ASOS | 
| Laura Mercier | Tinted Moisturiser | £35 | Space NK |
| Laura Mercier | Primer Radiance | £30.50 | Space NK |
| The Ordinary | Buffet | £13 | ASOS |
| Clean Reserve | Sal Santal EDP | £45 | Coolshop UK |
| Garnier | Micellar Water | 125ml | £0.85 | Amazon | 
| Garnier | Micellar Water | 125ml | £0.85 | Amazon | 
| As I am | Leave in Conditioner | 237ml | £8 | Amazon | 
| Conserve Beauty | Reusable cotton pads | 21 | £8.99 | Amazon | 
| The Body Shop | Camomile Cleansing Balm | £11 | The Body Shop |
| Avene | Soothing Thermal Spring Water Spray | 50ml | £4.50 | Boots |
| Nivea | Anti-Perspirant Spray | 35ml | £1.50 | Superdrug |
| Nyx | Sweet Cheeks Creamy Powder Blush Matte | So Taupe | £6 | Boots | 
| Nyx | Sweet Cheeks Creamy Powder Blush Glow | So Taupe | £6 | Boots | 
| Palmers | Cocoa Butter Formula Concentrated Cream | 60g | £2.09 | Superdrug |
| Leganza | Colouring Conditioner | 31 Bitter Chocolate | £4.75 | Amazon |
| Radox | Muscle Soak Bath Salts | £1 | Tesco | 
| Bourjois | Rouge Edition Velvet | Brun Croyable | £8.49 | Look Fantastic |
| Original Source | Water Infusion Apple & Melon | £2.00 | Boots |
| Original Source | Water Infusion Pineapple & Lemon | £2.00 | Boots |
| Boots | Berries & Cream Shower Gel | £0.75 | Boots |
| Alberto Balsam | Ultra Strong Styling Gel | £1.00 | Sainsbury's |
| Boots | Styling Creme | £1.99 |
| Balibrush | Bamboo Toothbrushes | £4.99 | Amazon |
| Garnier | Hair Mask | Coconut | £4 | Amazon |
| Garnier | Hair Mask | Papaya | £4 | Amazon |
| Arm & Hammer  | Advanced White Extreme | £1.28 | Amazon |
| Palmers | Cocoa Butter Shampoo | 400ml | £3.99 | Superdrug |
| Palmers | Cocoa Butter Shampoo | 400ml | £3.99 | Superdrug |
| Palmers | Cocoa Butter Conditioner | 250ml | £3.99 | Superdrug |
| Cosmetic Butter | Shea Butter refined | £3.95 | Amazon |
| Palmers | Body Lotion | £3.99 | Superdrug |
| Listerine | Total Care Sensitive Mouthwash | 500ml | £2.23 | Superdrug |

lets just sit on those figures for a while.

to look at this across the year, i have effectively used two additional months budgets and now can't spend them during.

2. i can't moderate.
i need to learn how to. but i cannot just stop at 1 of anything. chocolate, purchase, crisps.

i don't have that self control, so when i start shopping, i start shopping.

3. i get anxious
i don't want to use things i love.
this applies to food, clothes, jewelry, makeup etc.
if i buy something special, i have a weird fear of actually using it for purpose.
the 'oh my gosh it's gone and i don't want to be without'. rather than loving it.
i need to learn that it's okay, there will be others. instead i'm trapped in having a best, better and favourite for each category.

4. i buy in response to stress
if i'm having a bad day, my reflex is to purchase something new. anything. shiny. small. big. don't know. just want something new.

5. i don't need anything at present.
i use a lot less than i realise. it takes far longer to use up makeup, and skincare bores me.
i need to use more moisture on my skin.