| 2020 | 01 | 30 | broccolus |

this year, i have vowed to be ordinary.

no extreme sports, no unnecessary targets, nothing to obsess over and no goals to surpass.

i am going to be bang on average.

let me be clear - i was never not average. but i applied the level of pressure on my self that it was some kind of life and death situation requiring a ridiculous level of perfectionism and anxiety.

it wasn't good for my brainspace.

i was too critical.
too harsh.
i wasn't bestowing upon myself the kindness i expect from others or to themselves.

silly really.

it was actually back when myself and angus were penpals when he pointed out that i could never si still.

i think he didn't realise how much i would ponder than point, but it's only recently that i truly realise how bad a habit it is.