Thursday

| 2020 | 12 | 31 | december empties |



| Grown Alchemist | Lip balm | Vanilla | £15 | 
| Alberto Balsam | Coconut and Lychee Conditioner | £1 | Sainsburys | 
| Dr Lipp | Miracle Balm | £12 | ASOS |
| Glossier | Priming Moisturiser | £18 | Glossier |
| Dove | Dove Summer Revived Lotion | £7.79 | Amazon |
| Leganza | Colouring Conditioner | Rubious Red | £5 | Amazon | 
| L'oreal | True Match Foundation | 1N | £7.94 | Amazon | 
| Neutrogena | Hydro Boost Gel Cream | 50ml | £6.99 | Amazon |
| Revlon | Kiss Cushion Lip Tint | Fancy Rose | £5.81 | Amazon |
| Schwarzkopf | Live Ultra Bright | Pillar Box Red | £5 | Amazon |
| The Body Shop | Camomile Cleansing Balm | £11 | The Body Shop | 
| Cerave | Hydrating moisturising cream | 50ml | £5 | ASOS |


£100.43


| 2020 | 12 | 31 | yeah. that happened.

 most years I write a summary post that is a celebration of the year that has past. but I've sort of abandoned that in the same way that my weekly wind-downs wound down into a nothingness. 

I have no idea how to concisely summarise the last 12 months and the events therein. I don't know how to explain to those who are also experiencing the exact same series of events (perhaps in a slightly different way) that these series of events suck, without it sounding like I'm throwing a pity party. 

2020 has officially sucked balls. in the formal sense. 

I don't think I've truly processed the implications of this year and how our lives will continue to be affected well into 2021. I just don't understand. Obviously I understand this situation in a literal sense, but in any other sense things don't fully compute. 


much of this year has been a learning curve. learning how to adapt. learning that new things are okay. it's also been a real test of patience. we're being given rules that are so far out of our control and just being instructed to 'get on with it all'. 


we've walked. a lot. a lot of walking.
we've read books. not enough books but more than we probably would have.
I've dyed my hair red. then let it wash out before dyeing it again.
we've spent a lot of time alone.  
I've online shopped hard. I've then had a shopping ban. Then I shopped again.
we've queued for shops. 
we've done online quizzes. 
we've complained. 
we've sighed. 
we've watched boris give increasingly negative accounts of the world. 
I've rolled my eyes a lot. that seems to be my new coping mechanism. 
we've spent too much time online. social media is hurting us. 
we've napped. 
we've also spent nights unable to sleep. 


we've eaten out to help out. 
then we've eaten in to hide from the rest of the population. 
we've learn that the number 6 vastly reduces our social sphere. 



we've celebrated more birthdays than we thought we would. 
we've been to the beach. 
i've kayaked a lot. 
there was a sunflower. 
the majority of summer was spent out side. that was quite nice actually. 





angus's three week stay is yet to end. probably more like 40 now and counting. 
he has his own desk. (but only for three weeks)






we went to harry potter world.
we attended dance classes. 
then there was zoom. 
a life online is not a life. but it's our life. 



i've seen more of my dad this year. that's nice too. 


the cats are so used to constant attention i don't think it's fair to stop that now. i'll have to tell my boss. 



Monday

| 2020 | 11 | 30 | november empties |


| Cantu | Define and shine custard | 340g | £5.50 | ASOS |
| Cantu | Coconut curling cream | 340g | £7.99 | ASOS |
| Alberto Balsam | Sunkissed Raspberry Conditioner | £1 | Sainsburys |
| Colgate | Max White Luminous | £3.99 | Amazon |
| Fresh | Complexion Perfection Skincare Set - scrub | 15ml | £10 | Cult Beauty |
| May Coop | Raw Sauce | 40ml | £13 | Skin Space | 
| Source of Nature | Anti-age night cream | 50ml | £4.50 | Sainsburys | 
| Nyx | Eyebrow Pomade | £6.50 | ASOS | 


not mentioned.
| Revolution Pro | Hydra Matte Setting Powder | £6 | ASOS |
| Real Techniques | Expert Face Brush | £7.50 | Amazon |
| Lixir Skin | Good Skin Trio Mini - Vitamin C Paste | 30ml | £11 | ASOS \
| MAC | Prep + Prime | 3oml | £13 | ASOS |

£89.98

| 2020 | 11 | 23 | weekly winddown #?

 so I have lost count. 

november has been quite the month hasn't it?

we're locked down (or are we) and just generally struggling to entertain ourselves through some rougher weather. 








angus has built his own computer now in the new home office. I think we're going to try and do a repaint of the room too. 


paddling has been my lifeline through these odd times. This photo was obviously taken before this lockdown as there are three of us. 

another photot of the princess on my yoga mat.


| 2020 | 11 | 16 | deja vu |

 I'm injured again. 

The legitimacy of my injury isn't helping the fact I don't want to be. 


Thursday

| 2020 | 11 | 05 | sides |

 air of expectancy. silence. 


my walk this morning was misty, gloomy and quiet. peaceful would be the wrong word, still is more appropriate. 




it's almost as if the world is waiting for something. watching. 


we are all hanging on to a precipice, hoping. 


Sunday

| 2020 | 11 | 01 | groovy |


November feels very bleak right now. 

today was our last group session for a while (who knows, 4 weeks? 8 weeks?). we reveled in the small things. there's something almost fun about the convoy over to the jubilee, the run beforehand and the changing in the car park afterwards. We had the most incredible sunny weather and had such a warm welcome from the local wildlife. 

our home squad then went out for a meal. the giggling squid. family favourite. we just enjoyed it whilst we could. 


I want to cry at the prospect of the sheer loneliness the next 4 weeks offers. 

but i've just got to join everyone else doing what they can. 

 

Saturday

| 2020 | 10 | 31 | october empties |


| Too Faced | Better than sex mascara | £22 | ASOS |
| Alberto Balsam | Sunkissed Raspberry Conditioner | 400ml | £1 |Superdrug |
| Nyx | Eyebrow Pomade | £6.50 | ASOS |
| Leganza | Colouring Conditioner | 61 Mahogany | £5 | Amazon | 
| Noughty | Wave Hello Curl Defining Shampoo | 250ml | £6.99  | Noughty |
| Missha | Perfect Cover BB Cream | No. 21 Light Beige | £15.80 | Amazon |
| Old Spiace | Wolfthorn Deodorant Stick | 50ml | £2.99 | Amazon | 
| Shay & Blue | Salt Caramel | 100ml | £55 | Shay & Blue |
| Palmers | Body Lotion | 400ml | £3.99 | Amazon | 



£119.27
 

Friday

| 2020 | 10 | 30 | october purchases |

 


| Aquafresh | Complete Care Mouthwash | 500ml | £1.75 | Amazon |
| Charlotte Tilbury | Filmstar Bronze and Glow | Travel | £25 | ASOS |
| Denttabs | Teeth Cleaning Tablets | 125 | £10 | Amazon |
| Glam Glow | Thirsty Mud | Travel | £16 | ASOS |
| Hada Labo | Hyaluronic Acid | £12 | Amazon |
| Holika Holika | Honey Sleeping Pack | £12.99 | ASOS |
| Leganza | Colouring Conditioner | Ruby Red | £5 | Amazon |
| Marks & Spencer | Sea Salt & Freesia | 100ml | £12.50 | Marks & Spencer |
| Marks & Spencer | Woodspice | 100ml | £7.50 | Marks & Spencer |
| Maybelline | Lash Sensational Mascara | Very Black | £6 | Amazon |
| Neutrogena | Hydro Boost Gel Cream | 50ml | £6.99 | Amazon |
| Nyx | Epic Ink Eye Liner | Black | £6.50 | Amazon |
| Nyx | Epic Ink Eye Liner | Black | £6.50 | Amazon |
| Nyx | Micro Brow Pencil | Espresso | £9 | Amazon |
| Nyx | Tinted Brow Mascara | Black | £6.50 | Amazon |
| Old Spice | Wolfthorn Deodorant Stick | £2.99 | Amazon |
| Psychic Sisters | Face Roller | £25 | ASOS |
| Schwarzkopf | Live Ultra Bright | Pillar Box Red | £5 | Amazon |
| Schwarzkopf | Live Ultra Bright | Pillar Box Red | £5 | Amazon |
| Schwarzkopf | Live Ultra Bright | Pillar Box Red | £5 | Amazon |
| Tangle Teezer | Compact | £14 | Amazon |
| The Inkey List | Salicyclic Acid Cleanser | £10.99 | Cult Beauty | 
| The Inkey List | Vitamin C Serum | £7.99 | Cult Beauty | 
| The Inkey List | Vitamin B, C and E Moisturiser | £4.99 | Cult Beauty | 
| The Inkey List | Niacinamide | £6.99 | Cult Beauty | 
| The Ordinary | Buffet | £13 | ASOS |

Sunday

 I feel like life. life has just caught up with me. A few break-ups ago (probably the one I handled the worst) my mantra was 'time passes, whether you want it to or not'.

It helped a lot. The idea that eventually I would be past the rocky stage and into a point wher eI could look back. I was ready to look back. I didn't really enjoy the stage of 'getting over' and just wanted it to be over.

I was trying to look forward into a future I hadn't yet reached. 

---


anyway. i'm now at a point where i'm not trying to rush, but i am trying to appreciate. 

my question to ponder is - would you want to know your relationships end date? would it make you appreciate it more? 

would you know that you had a week left and make the most of the days, or would you write it off as there was only 7 to go?

i'm torn. I want to know. but also i don't need to. 




Wednesday

| 2020 | 10 | 07 | bench. |

 stagnation

the state of not moving
a lack of activity, growth or development

---

I hate standing still. 





Thursday

| 2020 | 10 | 01 | september empties |




Split into two

empties
| Chanel | Coco Madamoiselle | £118 | John Lewis |
| Tresseme | Botanique Nourish and Replenish | £4.99 | Amazon |
| Salt of the Earth | Crystal | Travel Size | £3.29 | Amazon |
| Hada Labo | Anti Ageing Super Hydrator | 150ml | £17 | Superdrug |
| Fresh | Complexion Perfection Skincare Set - Rose face mask | 15ml | £10 | Cult Beauty |
| The Essence Vault | Frangipani & Pineapple | 100ml | £24.95 | The Essence Vault |
| Leganze | Colouring Conditioner | Mahogany | £5 | Amazon |
| Vichy | Solar Water | 200ml | £19 | Escentual |
| Fresh | Complexion Perfection Skincare Set - Black Tea | 15ml | £10 | Cult Beauty |
| Lixir Skin | Good to Skin Trio | Electrogel Cleanser | 30ml | £11 |
| Super Facialist | Hyaluronic Acid Night Cream | £16 | Amazon |
| The Cheeky Panda | Bamboo baby wipes | £2.99 | Amazon |
| Le Petit Olivier | Verbena Lemon | 200g | £3.70 | Waitrose |
| Batiste | Dry Shampoo | 50ml | £1.09 | Amazon |
| Timeless | Vitamin C Serum | 30ml | £25.99 | Timeless |
| Tisserand | Jojoba oil | 100ml | £14.65 | Tisserand |
| Original Source | Sea Salt & Samphire | 250ml | £2 | Superdrug
| Stoneglow | Papyrus Woods & Jasmine | £22 | John Lewis |
| Acuvue | Oasys Contacts | £40 | Vision Direct

£352

declutter
|
Laura Mercier | Tinted Moisturiser | OW1 Pearl | £35 | Space NK |
| Charlotte Tilbury | Matte Revolution | Super Nineties | £25 | Charlotte Tilbury |
| Glossier | Cloud Paint | Dusk | £15 | Glossier |
| John Frieda | Frizz Ease Strength Serum | £5 | Amazon |
| Balibrush | Bamboo toothbrushes | £4.99 | Amazon |

£84.99

Total: £437


Wednesday

| 2020 | 09 | 30 | beauty purchases september |


This month was super hair product heavy, but I'm pleased to say £23.98.

| Alberto Balsam | Sunkissed Raspberry Conditioner | 400ml | £1 | Sainburys |
| Alberto Balsam | Coconut and Lychee Conditioner | 400ml | £1 | Sainburys |
| Essie | Gel Couture | £9.99 | Amazon |
| Source of Nature | Anti-age Night Cream | 50ml | £4.50 | Sainsburys |
| Leganza | Colouring Conditioner | Rubious Red | £5 | Amazon |
| Noughty | Wave Hello Curl Defining Taming Cream | 150ml | £6.99 |

Sunday

| 2020 | 09 | 27 |

so then i started writing a blog post. 



and then I started this. a new project. 

for no other purpose than to see if i can, I want to try and documents the moments between things. I realise it's really easy to let these moments in time pass when in actual fact they define my day. 

it's just interesting. 


Wednesday

| 2020 | 09 | 23 | what makes a good meal deal? |

 you have to go through a journey when you eat a meal deal.

no i mean a literal journey. sainsbury's is at least a mile away. 

---

you're welcome.

----

i have now reached a point in life where i have a specific makeup routine for zoom.

let me tell you it is all about the eyebrows. seriously though. washout is a problem. 

---




also this is the best ever music video. 



Tuesday

| 2020 | 09 | 08 | the echoes ring so loud |

do you ever wonder if you're doing the right thing? making the right choices? 

do you ever feel that reluctance to make a decision in order to avoid the responsibility?

right now i'm looking back over about eight years of bad choices and wishing i could go back. but not back to the me of then, back as i am now and make the decisions i'd be happy with now. not then. 

ah see. that's the problem. the me of then was content with the decisions made. the me of now is not. that's why hindsight is dangerous. 

it can make you live looking back at how things were with the mind you have now. but you aren't the same person you were then and had no idea what was in your future. 

that's why you've just got to make the decisions. and stick with them. 


 

Monday

| 2020 | 09 | 07 | weekly wind down 28 |


as i always say - the busier i am the less time i have to document it. we're actually managing to be quite productive humans. 


here is a photo dump. some we've seen. some we haven't. but here we go.