| 2019 | 11 | 11 | today is |

this weekend was super awesome thanks.

this is not an attractive picture. 

decent paddle on saturday (jubilee), hectic afternoon, busy evening and then a race on sunday which ended up taking the whole day . 15 miles in 2:03 isn't shabby at all i'll have you know.

busy busy and then it's over.

i feel like i've ticked a lot of boxes and now just need to decompress all week. i don't want to speak to another human person they suck .


we stash words beneath our tongues like they won't turn to ash, like they won't become regrets. like silence isn't the greatest enemy of all. you saved them for later.
words, unsaid.


a letter.

we practiced goodbyes so many times. joking about the 'last', all the while privately laying each thing to rest. the last hug. the last smile. the last time we'd do such and such. you held my hand and then put it down, laughing how we'd never touch again. but whilst they were said in jest, it was truly a checklist to be sure we'd have no regrets when the time came.

i miss the way you were certain. and how we were sure. i miss telling you about things big and small.

it's okay because i'll be the sky and you can be the sea and whilst we run in parallel we're never destined to meet with just the horizon between.