Saturday

| 2019 | 11 | 30 | november empties |



| Salt of the Earth | Melon and cucumber deodorant spray | 100ml | £5.99 | Amazon |
| Nivea | Antiperspirant | £1.50 | Boots |
| & Other Stories | Sicilian Hand Cream | 30ml | £4 | & Other Stories |
| & Other Stories | Fornillo | 30ml | £4 | & Other Stories |
| & Other Stories | Perle de Coco | 30ml | £4 | & Other Stories |
| Palmers | Cocoa Butter Body Lotion | 250ml | £3.99 | Superdrug |
| Colgate | Max One Whitening Toothpaste | 75ml | £3.99 | Superdrug |
| Garnier | Ambre Solaire | Self Tan Body Mist | £10.99 | Boots |

body & misc: £38.46



| Origins | Refreshing Scrub Cleanser - Ginzing | 150ml | £17.50 | Boots |
| Dr Jart+ | Ceramidin Gel Cream | 90ml | £21.99 | Amazon |
| Origins | GinZing Oil Free Energy Boosting Gel Moisturizer | 50ml | £25 | ASOS |
| The Ordinary | Granactive Retinoid 2% | £8 | ASOS |
| Pixi | Glow Tonic | 250ml | £18.00 | ASOS |
| Paul Mitchell | Super Skinny Serum | £21.95 | Amazon |
| Weleda | Skin Food | 75ml | £12.50 | Holland & Barrett |

face: £124.94


| Bourjois | Volume Clubbing Mascara | £7.99 | Boots |
| Bourjois | Volume Clubbing Mascara | £7.99 | Boots |
| The Body Shop | Radiant Highlighter | £12 | The Body Shop |
| Amazon | Mama Bear Baby Wipes | 150 | £0.70 | Amazon |
| The Ordinary | Serum Foundation | £6 | ASOS |
| Touch in Sol | Velvet Lip Tint - Carpet Pink | £14 | ASOS |
| Korres | Lip butter | 6g | £8 | Look Fantastic |
| Charlotte Tilbury | Legendary Lashes Volume 2 | £25 | Charlotte Tilbury |
| Bourjois | Satin Edition 24 hour eyeshadow | £6.99 | Look Fantastic |
| L'Oreal | Tinted Lip Oil |  Jelly Peach | £8.99 | ASOS |
| L'oreal | Lip Oil in Sugar Plum | £8.99 | ASOS |
| Revlon | Super Lustrous Lipstick | Rich Raisin Frost | £7.49 | Boots |

makeup: £114.14


| Kilian | Princess EDP | 7.5ml | £22 | Harvey Nichols |
| Solinotes | Oranger | £10 | Urban Outfitters |
| Solinotes | The Blanc eau de parfum | £10 | Urban Outfitters |
| Solinotes | Rose | £10 | Urban Outfitters |
| Solinotes | Vanille | £10 | Urban Outfitters |
| Shay and Blue | Watermelon | 30ml | £30 | Shay and Blue |
| Shay and Blue | White Peaches | 30ml | £30 | Shay and Blue |
| Shay and Blue | Black Tulip | 30ml | £30 | Shay and Blue |

Perfume - £182

Obviously these are direct replace costs rather than the amount used over the month.

Also the terrifying part of this? Doesn't include the monster lipstick throwaway at the end of October. That would have been hundreds. I'm sort of ashamed by how many owned vs how many were used.

grand total: £459.54

november buys

| Al Rehab | Choco Musk Perfume Oil | 6ml | £2.25 | Amazon |
| Lynx | Black body spray deodorant | 150ml x 3 | £5.10 | Amazon |
| O'Keeffe's | Working hands | 85g | £5.58 | Amazon |
| Bourjois | 24h Eyeshadow | Oh de roses! | £3.59 | Amazon |
| Bourjois | 24h Eyeshadow | Abracada'brown | £2.98 | Amazon |
| Bourjois | 24h Eyeshadow | Beige-seller | £2.79 | Amazon |
| NYX | Professional Epic Ink Liner | £9.00 | ASOS |
| bareMinerals | Complexion Rescue Tinted Moisturiser | £29 | ASOS |
| Rimmel | Super Lash Mascara | £4.99 | Boots |
| Hello Eco Company | Bamboo Toothbrush + Case | £9.99 | Amazon |
| Denttabs | Toothpaste Tablets | 62 tablets | £3.25 | The Plastic Free Shop |
| Science | Jojoba Bitter Orange Lip Balm | £3.90 | The Plastic Free Shop |
| Glossier | Futuredew | £23 | Glossier |
| Glossier | Generation G | Zip | £14 | Glossier |
| Glossier | Cloud paint | Dusk | £15 | Glossier |
| Glossier | Stretch Concealer | G12 | £15 | Glossier |
| Bumble and bumble | Surf Foam Spray blow dry | £19.20 | ASOS |
| Bumble and bumblee | Surf infusion | £18.40 | ASOS | 
| Embryolisse | Lait Cream Concentrate | £9.10 | ASOS |
| Lottie | The Rusts | £4 | ASOS |
| NARS | Voyageur Eyeshadow palette copper | £22 | ASOS |

Okay so. Okay. I guess I didn't need a new perfume oil, nor did I need eyeshadow but... well there isn't really an excuse. I will note that this is a vast improvement on some previous months so - progress??

I use the deodorant to stop my kayaking kit from stinking of the Thames - I'd rather smell like teen boy gone wild than that.

Working hands is another kayaking purchase - I put a small amount on the tops of my knuckles for particularly cold or long paddles and it helps keep them from stinging throughout.

But it could be worse?!

The mascara replaced three tubes which were definitely around 3 years old.... don't judge me. i'll judge you.

the glossier order was a moment of weakness because basically i'm going to the theatre with the fairly new boy-situation at the end of the month and his whole family will be there and i just want to not look a mess.




Thursday

| 2019 | 11 | 28 | gnomes |


it was 3am.

my head wasn't in a good place. i was tired. i was hungry. my body hurt.

all was running through my head on repeat was Hester Shaw's 'that, is london' with the echo 'not yet it isn't'.

it probably didn't help i'd been listening to the 2wei songs on repeat either.


-------

i watched a few of these the other night - i'd kind of forgotten these exist.

i'm sort of determined to make some more.

| 2019 | 11 | 28 | and i don't even fund apple |

for some reason i've been bingeing food haul videos for families with over 12 members.

i don't have any plans on creating a new clan, but let me tell you i would not run out of tinned tomatoes if i did.




---

i've had to start writing 2020 on a lot of documents at work and it terrifies me. i'm not ready for the year of perfect vision. 

--- 

i got over taken on my run again today. it gave me time to reflect because in that moment, i was so ashamed and embarrassed. 

but when i overtake people in my kayak - i don't think of it as a negative process. in my head i'm rooting for the other person to hang on for an extra few seconds. i'm so hopeful that's how the twig like woman who flew past me was thinking. 

or probably - run fast you lard ass. 

---

we played my new favourite game last night - rummikub.



i mean, i like it now but if you'd have spoken to me about seven years ago i'd have probably screamed in your face. it was basically the type of game they used to use to 'help' with my dyslexia. 

it supposedly speeds up your ability to make links between words and cover for all the other problems you're having - she probably meant with english but i liked to think she was helping me with life. 

not washed your hair and looking like a mess? 
play this game. no one will see.

forgotten all your money and can't find your cards?
join together the dots. your life is fine. 

i swear that woman thought she could fix the entire human race with her box of tricks

thanking you susan. 

to be fair to her. i can now have a conversation without crying. so there's that i guess. 

---


---


Wednesday

| 2019 | 11 | 21 | 25 dates. 1 |

i think my first ever bumble date was also my worst.

so there's that i guess.

---

we need to take ourselves back to the time that was 2017 and the time of my life i'd rather forget. i was curled up in my bed staring at the ceiling.

'i'll get you at 7, i insist'.

eventually the panic subsided and i was able to justify it in that this way i wouldn't have to worry about parallel parking.

how wrong i was. i had so much more to worry about than parallel parking.

he started off the car journey listing off the ways he was a pretty epic date and how lucky i was. just straight off the bat. initially i thought he was joking. turns out he wasn't.

about halfway through the drive there i realised what a mistake this whole thing had been and was desperately thinking of a get out plan.

nope.

i still didn't have one when he told me what to eat for my starter, how to eat it and when to stop eating it.

the main came and i was  mulling over just how little fun i was having - then the waitress dropped the bombshell 'he brings all his dates here'. yep even better.

he then gave me a box of chocolates and offered to drive me round for a bit. i politely declined but got the tour anyway.

once it was over i thanked him and made no promises to ever speak again.

he however had other plans.

his ego wouldn't let me just say no and he seemed to require a 4 part book titled 'why i don't want to date you'.

i blocked him as best i could and once he realised i wasn't going to reply seemed to get the message.

one final attempt on Instagram saw me lose my temper and write a regrettably long message in response.

and then i blocked him.






Tuesday

| 2019 | 11 | 25 | dw. 138 days to go |

so i realise i've lost an entire day to typing 'days until easter 2020' into google. because we start the afternoon before...

---

anyway.

i fell asleep saturday dreaming of trail running. just churning through muddy puddles.

that became my reality in the morning when i set off running without a real plan or distance in mind. 3x 10/1 later i decided i was going to aim for 10 of those.

8 and a half was close enough.

but i did it.

and before anyone else woke up.

| 2019 | 11 | 26 | okay so |

GUYS I USED TO GO TO THE ROLLER DISCO EVERY FRIDAY EVENING AND PLAY ON MY GAMEBOY COLOUR BEFORE CHECKING MY TAMAGOTCHI WAS STILL ALIVE.

i don't even know where to begin to unpack this.

and i watched the knight before christmas and i'm not too upset by the time travelling element  it's more..... she let him drive her car.

a man from the 14th century.

driving a car.

Monday

| 2019 | 11 | 25 | round and round about |

honey i'm home
milk, i'm home
sugar? yeah i'm home

---

my favourite colour is icecream.

you can make a wish and then you have to do it.

august is the sunday of the year

yoga is just slow karate.

you are my rock, paper and scissors.

i don't know what i just said, i wasn't listening to myself.

snaccident. too many snacks by accident

wow you're perfect... if i take my glasses off

---

we're back training on the jubilee. it's a sort of slog to find paddle-able water.


i churned out 10 miles yesterday too and my legs hurt a little bit.


yesterday was ideal.

we finally made sausage rolls, had another round of mario kart and watched some more prison break.

which i'm doing really well at not reading ahead on the plot. i lied. i looked a little. shhhh


Friday

| 2019 | 11 | 22 | so many songs about bugs |



the leaves are turning. no i take it back, they have turned.  it's autumn - always confused with august in a sort of dyslexic mash up of words.

the vibrant reds mix with oranges on the ground and remind me time is passing.

they're crunchy. it's a good sound.

i set a timer 24 hours ago (...)

it's been longer than that though.

----


| 2019 | 11 | 22 | dw. 143 days to go |

whenever i type 'dw' it always looks like i'm saying don't worry. don't panic. it's no biggie.

---
we didn't come this far to only come this far. we came this far to be strong enough to go further. 
i'm proud of my achievements but that doesn't mean i'll settle for them 
---

if you don't get the quiet poetry of endurance events, that's okay. but if you see the  magic in the challenge then you'll understand why this event fills me with both excitement and dread. why i fall asleep sometimes slightly tearful i won't wake up motivated to train harder.

that i'll waste minutes on half efforts and not be my best.

It has been such a long time since I verbalised any of my kayaking emotions.

properly I mean.

Filming video logs last year was quite possibly the best therapy for everything that was going on, but I don't have the time to do the same right now.

my run this morning was one of my best lately.

only around 5 miles but it flew by and there was nothing to note in terms of aches or breathing difficulty.

i'm so much further ahead of the me a year ago in terms of running fitness. i hope that counts for something.

i'm also about ten times more knowledgeable of the course. but it's scary. like big scary.

---
when everything is conspiring to stop you - you say no. not today.
---

the secret to success is in your sacrifice today. it's in getting back up just one more time
---

Monday

| 2019 | 11 | 18 | i miss my neon orange hi tops |

now then, where is your adult? 

i'm gonna write that in a sub plot for my latest novel - crimes against fashion and the other 36 ways i live dangerously. 


I'm going to talk about it. 

kayaking. 

because kayaking is the best.

i keep progressing. keep taking steps forward. balancing those boats is hard. learning how to move them through choppy water is hard. moving through flowing water - terrifying. 


my new goal is to focus on my legs and leg drive - to get the most from my lower body in tandem with my back. hopefully. that will work. 


the river is in a state of flood and whilst it's exciting it's incredibly frustrating. we just want to train.


this is archie. archie bear. monkey feet. tumble wallace.

he's a little menace.

Sunday

| 2019 | 11 | 17 | keepcup coffee cup |



I bought this of my own volition and I'm slightly horrified at the facts that drove me to this particular purchase.



the why::

right let's get down to it.

I absolutely loathe single use items. We are increasingly becoming allergic to any form of inconvenience or forethought (to the detriment of our resources) and this has manifested in our culture of 'on the go food'. Everything is housed in single use plastics or cardboard and comes with plastic cutlery and a plastic bag....

Half of the plastic produced globally goes into products that are used only once [1]

If that itself doesn't horrify you, then please take a moment to yourself. Inconvenience is no longer an acceptable reason to do (or not do) something.



Did you also know that compostable and biodegradable paper cups cannot be put into household compost and need to be commercially broken down. This means they require dedicated collection and if sorted incorrectly can contaminate a whole batch, meaning it all ends in landfill [2]

It pains me to say this, but most people think they're saving the planet by the act of recycling - and with that the more they do the better they're doing it.

No. That's not how this system works. We need to reduce the amount we are having to recycle by actively buying items which last - think of the items you own as your legacy. I for one would rather have a higher quality reusable object than a flimsy paper one. Go figure.

1 million disposable cups end up in landfill every minute - calculated from an estimation of 500 billion annually [3]

Again. Flabbergasted.

15 uses of your KeepCup puts you environmentally in the green [4]

I also calculated that with the 25p saving on my hot drinks I'll have effectively paid for my KeepCup in 80 drinks - or two months worth of regular consumption.

Do I need to continue?

The only plausible, arguable downside to this is remembering to carry it with you in the first place. Given we all manage that with our phone, keys and wallet I'm not sure there's a strong argument here at all.

the what::

Mine is a KeepCup Brew Cork Edition in Almond. It is a medium size which holds 340ml - so you can get either a smaller one or a larger depending on personal preference.

Sourced sustainably from portugese forests the cork band is light, antibacterial, biodegradable and doesn't need to be removed to be washed.

The cup itself is made from fully tempered, barista standard soda lime glass (all of which I'm guessing are good things) and it feels nice in the hand.

It does need to be handwashed.

That's okay.

It's hardly challenging.



the how::

If I need to walk you through how to buy coffee then please call your family or close friend, because like me you shouldn't be handling hot drinks....

my thoughts::

This saves me 25p every time I buy a coffee from certain shops (in fact you'll be surprised how many offer this) and is aesthetically pleasing.

It ensures I'm no longer contributing to that particular aspect of waste production and gives me a really nice portable cup that I'm not ashamed to hand over and have filled.

Please bear in mind that there are many options for these reusable cups, and my emphasis of this post is to get across the importance of avoiding the disposable rather than buying something new.



KeepCup is a brand that I feel represents my values and is one I'm happy to invest in.

Get yours here.

[1] Plastic, a toxic love story, Susan Freinkel, 2011

[2] Coffey P, http://www.aora.org.au/, April 2013

[3] Jim Hanna www.oneearth.org, April 2012

[4]Hocking M (1994) "Reusable and disposable cups: An energy based evaluation"*Breakeven is calculated in reference to the life cycle of each product.

Saturday

| 2019 | 11 | 16 | drip drop tick tock |

it's funny how with the distancing of time i've forgotten quite a lot of the smaller moments.

the tiny successes. the dull ache from start to finish.

i do remember feeling happy the whole way. excited. i felt tired, but positive. and scared. waiting for the eventual fall. (which took around 18 hours to rear its ugly head).

looking back, the DW is some kind of distant dream. i'm not sure if i'm really remembering it - or just filling in blank spaces with how i'd hoped it would had happened. 

i remember shouting happy birthday to maddy at cookham. but i've also confused cookham bridge with the one after boulters and she's now wearing a bright pink coat - which i'm 100% certain didn't feature at all.

hey ho.

it's like some elusive secret. that's why i've gotta go back and do it over again.

---

so it was actually during a meal out on friday where i started to muse over the whole thing.

I'd been telling A about how the race actually went, and the fun we had. i caught myself because i spend so long trying not to talk about the DW that i can't enjoy the memory itself. it's a guilty pleasure to unload some tales of the race, because my god there were tales.

i want to tell the story from start to finish. but everyones either heard it all before - or they were there. or they have so little understanding of what i'm talking about it's of no interest to them. my colleagues are sick to death of kayaking chat. my dad doesn't really want to hear it and most of my friends kayak so don't get the same delight from altering a paddle angle.

but. i have 20 hours of a thing to unpack - of which i spent 99% in complete silence. i didn't get to enjoy the experience because it was fraught with nerves. a fear that something could go so seriously wrong we'd jeopardise the whole thing.

then when it was over we had to drop DW fever because everyone around us was sick of hearing about 'this lock' or 'that weir' and they'd stayed up all night fuelling our own personal dream.

i normally spend half a day after each 'normal' race talking about it. so when something is around ten times longer i'm gonna be chatting for a week. except no. once it was done it was done. people would ask 'how was it??' and you'd have to condense a 6 month experience into around 5 words.

---

anyway. what i'm trying to say is that DW2020 is now on my mind. it's firmly being daydreamed - this year i know what to expect so the daydreams are a little more accurate.

like. before. i wasn't sure i could actually pee in the boat. but now i have no doubts about myself.

wow.

---

and on that note.

it's around this time where i regret my ban on writing about actual things on here.

there's a lot in my life i omit. people. places. experiences. emotions.

i'm worried i'll forget those things in the future. but certain other things i want to share.

like.

i had a dream last night called 'the strangest of things' which was basically the english remake of stranger things in which ron weasley kept yelling 'oh bloody hell' at every bad situation.

i think a bit of british humour would really elevate the show above it's current status. it's missing that witty character with a bit of cynicism and sarcasm.

'oh billy what you like eh?'

'el, you really shouldn't exert yourself like that, you'll get a nosebleed! oh. there she goes again'




Thursday

| 2019 | 11 | 14 | really small dinosaurs |



life can change in an instant so you need to tell people things. 

that is all. 

thank you. 

---

how one small dinosaur can change anything. everything. all things. 

i still have that small piece of metal. 

origami never tasted so good. 

---

cats never ask you to change, they listen. and mainly ignore you. 

Tuesday

| 2019 | 11 | 12 | plot twist |



this song is basically portugal. 

a horse in a swimming pool. 

---


I wish someone would look at me the way Pumpkin does when i have cheese. 


this is a really blurry photo i grabbed whilst running past. the river is starting to flood its banks and nudge up onto the path. 

---

today i decided to be ten minutes late so i could sit on the stairs and enjoy my dads company.

as in his time - rather than his business.

okay i mean we had a conversation.

we don't always.

---


Book-Spoilers-Illustrations-John-Atkinson

christmas is coming fast. so we're going to have to go through the annual facade of fun and other things.

i suppose this year i could embrace forgiveness and be kind.

---





Monday

| 2019 | 11 | 11 | today is |

this weekend was super awesome thanks.



this is not an attractive picture. 


decent paddle on saturday (jubilee), hectic afternoon, busy evening and then a race on sunday which ended up taking the whole day . 15 miles in 2:03 isn't shabby at all i'll have you know.

busy busy and then it's over.

i feel like i've ticked a lot of boxes and now just need to decompress all week. i don't want to speak to another human person they suck .


---

we stash words beneath our tongues like they won't turn to ash, like they won't become regrets. like silence isn't the greatest enemy of all. you saved them for later.
words, unsaid.

---

a letter.


we practiced goodbyes so many times. joking about the 'last', all the while privately laying each thing to rest. the last hug. the last smile. the last time we'd do such and such. you held my hand and then put it down, laughing how we'd never touch again. but whilst they were said in jest, it was truly a checklist to be sure we'd have no regrets when the time came.

i miss the way you were certain. and how we were sure. i miss telling you about things big and small.

it's okay because i'll be the sky and you can be the sea and whilst we run in parallel we're never destined to meet with just the horizon between.

---


Wednesday

| 2019 | 11 | 06 | party like its 1962 or whichever year they invented poptarts |

so it was pointed out to me today that james acaster is my dream husband.

i would almost say. super dreamy.


he can be added to my list of weird and wonderful characters.

it's quite a short list. but i'm okay with that.


---


the answer is always 'because i was watching the spice girls movie on VHS'.

always. if you say otherwise i'll push your face into brickwork.

yeah.

try explaining that grazing.

---

the second one - parks and rec.

actually scrap that i'm still watching community. give me time. there are like six seasons.

then we'll get on to april and lesley. we'll get there when we need to.

---

todays post is sponsored by glossier (lie) and i can honestly say i've never loved their lipstick more (also lie, it's not edible).

i think edible lipstick is the way forward.

what am i talking about? i don't know but i'm hungry and calling something cherry glaze is false advertising...

---

i need to water the plants.

i still need to water them

those two sentences were written like 3 hours apart but you tore into them in seconds.


| 2019 | 11 | 06 | jelly tots |

you know what? 

today is a great day. 

i paddled (ohhh surprise) and managed to avoid all types of emotional  breakdown whilst dealing with more flow than we probably should have.

85 i'll have you know. 



wet footprints are a sure fire way to tell if i've been paddling or not. 


i'm not losing the plot. you are. 

my christmas wishlist is insane.

i kid you not. 



Tuesday

| 2019 | 11 | 05 | storytime |

i can't help being some kind of hopeless romantic and feel stuck in a world where things are just things and no one can see the sparkle in the everyday.

for example.

i've had a lot of coffee and i'm feeling emotional because my spreadsheet doesn't work.

rightooooo.

i taught myself a while ago about not attaching sentiment to objects. which is weird because i still get a pang of jealousy over other peoples memory boxes.


i think i'm going to make a memory book of things. 

and photograph the object i should've kept that has sentimental value. maybe. 

| 2019 | 11 | 05 | jazzy |





i'm gonna start measuring milestones in terms of how many bottles of shampoo i've used.

or maybe how worn down my shoes are.


---


it's 6:43 and i have had a sum total of 8 minutes sleep . not consecutively.

actually that's a lie once I was asleep I was down, but that wasn't for long.

once awake, i turned to tv to fill the gap between me and sunrise.

we'll start with 'community', which follows the lives of a gang of misfits who get in all kinda of weird scrapes and don't seem to have any kind of life outside of college. go figure.

'i think the wrong person left the room' is a line from the show which to this day still bashes round my head like a slightly oversized rhino.

----

today i met a cow on my run and it's changed my day.

in fact she was in the path and we had to walk together to get her home.


---

i think we're decided. or sorta at least

the clocks need to go back further than an hour.

maybe like ten years so we can have the chance to relive our mistakes all over


---

i was tickled this morning by a small girl apologising for either her grandma or her dog. specifics weren't necessary but i got the gist. we were walking in opposite directions down an alleyway.

sorry for these things existing.





Friday

| 2019 | 11 | 01 | october empties review |

ehhhhh. lets get into some nitty gritty here.



I said yesterday that not one of these is a re-purchase and I bloody meant it. the only consideration would be the Hada Labo Toner and thats only if the other one I'm now using isn't great.

Even then it wasn't a standout product in any sort of line up.

| Solinotes | Vanille eau de parfum | £10 | Urban Outfitters |
so here's a big old fail. I'm still searching for the dreamy vanilla scent I caught a whiff of one summers evening in the south of france .... yeah that's a lie. i just want to smell like a cupcake. go figure.
I can't fault Solinotes opening on this one, because my god it was a gourmand vanilla without the wince of something alcoholic. beyond that though, one inhale and you've had your lot. no staying power and no projection either.

| Solinotes | The Blanc eau de parfum | £10 | Urban Outfitters |
similar to the vanille scent, this the blanc (that should be white tea btw not the white, i just can't be dealing with french accents) was another fresh and sparkly scent with so much potential but so little performance.... much like many of the guys i've dated.
it's nice, and yes a steal at £10, but when you factor in the need to use a whole bottle to actually smell it for more than five minutes i'm not sure you're getting a lot of value.

| Avene | Thermal Water Spray 300ml | £13 | Boots |
blah blah water spray. glorified shower steam. though, to be fair, this bottle has travelled with me to newcastle, france, wales, cornwall - ie. it's lasted around 7 years.

| Nyx | Honey Dew Me Up Primer | £15 | Nyx |
why are you like this. i liked you. i trusted you. and as with every primer on the night - you let me down. well actually you let my bronzer slide down my face. I know i have high cheekbones but that was taking the piss.
no as primers go it's average. holding power - acceptable. but it did funny things to certain foundations and i didn't need that when i leave 8 minutes to get ready every day.

| Revolution | Conceal and Define Concealer | £4 | Superdrug |
nope. another nope. what is going on with this formula? who said it was okay to produce?! for some reason this has a miniature cult following who scream 'dupe for tarte shape tape' but clearly, they have never used TST. you can't just yell things people!

| La Roche Posay | Effaclar BB Blur | £17 | Escentual |
another 'i loved you til i used you twice'. drying (that's the point sophie), mattifying (...) and slightly bally. seriously. bally. put it on a brush - ball. put it on your hand - ball. it's bally.
not for me, but i understand it has some magical ingredients.

| Hada Labo | Premium Hyaluronic Toner | £19.99 | Timeless | 
eeesh. i want to say this was wicked because Hannah Louise Poston sold it to me as a dream come true (sort of a lie, she only sold it as 'pretty decent') but. however. my skin needs real tender love and care given how i live my life (outside, in the weather, like a normal person).

| Cetaphil | Rich Night Cream | £7.99 | Boots | 
i lied. this is on my maybe buy this again because it's fairly cheap and actually did a job. but it wasn't a night cream that had me waking up looking like i'd slept. maybe because i don't sleep. but maybe because it was just a so-so.

| Mugler | Alien Fusion | £49 | Boots | 
right. let me clear things up. i liked this. a lot. but it's not a re-purchase because it's so damn generic. it's not even trying to pretend not to be a white floral beast. 'alien fusion' is misleading because it's neither out of this world or mixing anything remotely exciting.

| No7 | Instant Radiance Highlighter | £10 | Boots | 
i bought this for a date with some guy i'd fancied in the gym. actually no. i bought this on my date because i was like four hours early and had time to kill. back when i had the capacity to be early.

| MUA | Pro Base Concealer | £2.50 | Superdrug | 
why do i do this!
simply put, i should save up the money i throw away flippantly on concealers and buy one that works. I only need one. ONE.

| The Body Shop | Shade Adjusting Drops | £11 | The Body Shop | 
head desk.

just. i bought a product so that when i blind buy other products in the wrong shade i can adjust the shade to make it fit. except no. the formula is shocking. it does not mix and when it does you're trying to smear cement on your face in a shade that is all things wrong. you're welcome.

please don't ask me to talk about it.

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nb. these reviews aren't very useful but i don't do that anymore. sorry.