| 2019 | 07 | 16 | whiskey tango |

I had a best friend once.

we were blessed by the audacity of youth and the certainty nothing could go wrong.

I remember - giddy on sugar and the heat of the sun asking. I asked - 'do we have to be friends forever?'

I hadn't meant it like that. 

truth is only the way we see things. the real truth is the one between us all. balanced on a fine line is what actually happened. there will be times where all is left misunderstood. but that is also where the wisdom lies.

some friends feel like you've known them forever. even when you first meet you have a familiarity with their way of being. we cause our own suffering by trying to distinguish between this and that. 

I've actually been holding my breath for a long time now. Some days though, I'll allow as many as 20.


| 2019 | 07 | 19 | again, not you |

whispers on skin
memories of touch
flipped pages
chapters ending too soon
never at all

make up free
freckles splattered
loaded space

line in the sand
space between
fabric fraying
the almosts
walking away


| 2019 | 07 | 19 | yelling softly quietly |

I find it weird that songwriters chuck out hundreds of songs about love, life, and the things in between and don't have to have each and every one about a specific person.

If I were to write a poem.

Or a story.

The words would be torn into pieces. the digging would start.


it's actually not about you.

by the way.


and it's not about them either.


sometimes I just write something about things.


sometimes my past writes the stories. but the stories aren't about my past.


sometimes i write the conversations i'd like to have with the people but never will.


i think the worst thing is to die curious.
you completely shouldn't do that.
don't leave the questions unanswered.
don't leave the stories untold.
be bold and be brave and try everything at least once.
or else you won't know.



| 2019 | 07 | 11 | what if |

what if today was your last day.

what if you knew how long you had.

would you scream things you should have said from roof tops.

would you dream of climbing mountains, viewing the world and feeling the wind brush your skin. Or would you find the person you most wanted to spend those last few precious hours with.

If today was your last day would you shut down and hide in bed. The ultimate comfort.

Or would you look for the beauty in everything.

If today was your last day would you spend it entirely alone.

if today was your last day would you be filled with regret for all the things you never did and for all the mistake you made.

would you be at peace.

or would you be angry.

What if today was your last day. You just don't know it yet.

| 2019 | 07 | 04 | very sharp and very soft |

These are my people. I didn't take this photo, nor was I there.

Yesterday was day one of henley. 

I went with my dad to meet up with some of the gang, with only six of us making it to the tea sitting. 

It was hot. 


| 2019 | 07 | 03 | daisies, thunderstorms and something in between |

I stood deep in the pool with burned skin and awful highlighted hair, reading the latest of a stack of classics I'd been hoping to finish the year before. They were hard work and I was frowning slightly in the sun.

I was mad at the white rind on the sweet clementines we'd bought, their delicious flavour so long in the sampling.

After not very much time in the heat, I'd had enough.

These are possibly my favourite geese on the thames.

> a cat is always on the wrong side of the door.