| 2019 | 03 | 07 | what i'm not is a piece of cake |

life is about timing, and inches. 

the right place, the right time. 

one half a step too early, or one half step too late. you're not where you could've been. you're not where you needed to be. and if everyone is a half step out then.... well it's all a mess really. 

the margins for error are so small. but. even the smallest things can be the most important. 


do you ever wish you had a time machine?

what would you use it for?

today, i'd go back. i'd unmake certain meets. i'd never wave 

hindsight - the most useless of superpowers.

or if i couldn't go straight back as myself, but as the version today....

well i'd go back and grab my hand of then. i'd take myself for a walk and show me the beauty of the day. 

the strength of the wind. 

i'd distract, refocus and redefine what i needed. 

what i wanted. 

our past doesn't determine our future. it just gets us here. but from here, we do the next bit. 


making decisions used to be easy.

but now easy decisions are traps and no one wins.


~ you used to use my full name with such force i could feel the syllables bounce around your mouth. you'd drive home each of my names with quiet intensity and it would make me feel so ... so noticed. it was half sing-song too. i don't know why, but it made me feel so special. so complete. i think it was that, coupled with the eye contact that was perfect.

shame you were a wanker ~


did you watch the black mirror episode where each pairing had an expiry date? what if that's true? what if we just don't have a way of measuring it yet.

what if there's an unforeseen clock that decides how long your relationships last, and it's just down to you to make the most of them.