| 2019 | 02 | 09 | suck it |

irrelevance is one of the greatest fears of man.

a fear of being forgotten, a fear of not mattering, a fear that this was all for nothing. all the struggle, all the time. everything you put in was for.... nothing.

yeah but..

none of it really matters anyway.


there's a moment.

a slide.

where there are no longer connections joining you together.

friendships are like a rope. the stronger the connection, the more fibres holding you together. but when it starts to pull apart, they'll drop away.

 you watch the fabric fray.

you feel it happen. slowly.

the connections drop until there is no longer anything there.

the space between.

the hurt comes not from missing them ,but knowing that you no longer matter to them. acknowledge your own need to be needed and you'll find satisfaction from other things. don't nurture toxicity purely for self indulgence. it will only ever burn you.