| 2018 | 09 | 30 | marshmallow pie |

I realised something today.

It struck home.

I haven't been paying attention.

I've been letting the small bits through.

I'm going to start slowing down.

Savouring every second.

Savouring every person.

Giving them my time because life can sometimes be so short and you never know which will be your last. Or theirs.

So make eye contact. Smile when they speak.

And don't take people for granted.

People aren't forever.

They're so temporary.


Tomorrow morning. I'm going to wake up early. And I'm going to paddle. Slowly. Because I can. And I'm going to enjoy the sunrise all the more for those who can't.


| 2018 | 09 | 17 | day 29 |

Henley Hasler.

The speedbump.

The one I'm glad we survived.


That sounds super dramatic but we could have both very easily collapsed in on ourselves and had a really rough ride.


| 2018 | 09 | 12 | day 23 |

Ah the good old time trial.

5km of bliss and fun.

Well in fact it was, as myself and Mark achieved a storming PB of 23:32, despite switching seats in the K2.

In fact, after some discussion we realised that there was little significance in the time being quicker as a result of Mark being in the front, more that, either way round we go about the same speed, and the boat feels good.

That was after I borderline had an existential crisis over the fact that we were quicker without me driving. It needs to sink in that there are two of us paddling, it's not that I'm an addition to Mark's effort. I must at somepoint be shifting my bodyweight + half the boat. It's science.

What is it going to take to realise that I am contributing.

I guess that's the struggle with being a part of a team, especially one that amounts to two.

You're equally as reliant on yourself as you are on each other. We can't get through races without the other one in the boat, and we damn well won't finish the DW solo.

what are the chances. 
I had a moment of realisation earlier today.

This is all weirdly falling into place.

What are the chances of finding a K2 partner who is basically the same height, same leg length and same gait. Paddling style perhaps not but that's borderline impossible anyway.

What are the chances of finding a K2 partner with the same mindset and level of dedication to training. With the same openness to try new approaches in the hope it may make things easier.

I feel like this is my first real stab at the biggest race of my kayaking career, and if played well we'll definitely have a good experience. There are a lot of races in between to learn from. To prepare for. To keep working toward.

But this also won't happen again. We've got a window of opportunity which we have to take. And we have to do it properly. No half measures. We can't rely on it coming around again.

I don't want to look back on these eight months in ten years time and have the question - what if? Whilst the components are down to chance, what we do with them doesn't have to be.

Every time I put my paddle in the water, I have a choice. I either do it properly or I take the easy option. I can either improve, or be a passenger.


We didn't go to Pangbourne to win. We went there to learn. And as a result of our training were in a position to take first place. But we didn't win by giving our all. It was giving our all in the first place which just so happened to take the win. It's a different emphasis. That was my most, and Mark's too. It wouldn't have mattered if we were 6 lengths up, or the same number down. That race would have happened the same no matter what.

We went there and did our best.


that's the same with every session. Every bit of training.

Your best is the only thing you can be sure of.


| 2018 | 09 | 04 | day 16, training for the dw |

Today we smashed the time trial and I laid down my personal goals and aims. 

It's going to be a long 8 months. 

The current kit list:

Craft Women's Active Extreme 1.0:
Craft Women's Active Exteme 2.0 LS Baselayer -
Craft Women's Active Extreme Short Sleeve Base Layer:
Icon Performance Gilet:
Under Armour Sports Bra:
Palm Short Sleeve Cag:

Under Armour Shorts :

Under Armour Women's Visor:
Inov8 Race Ultra 270:
SunGod Classics:
Marsport drinks bottle holder:
Inov8 Race Ultra 270 -

Boat stuff.

Nakd Lemon Drizzle Bars:
| review | zero waste | coffee | keepcup: 

| 2018 | 09 | 04 | day 13 + day 14 + day 15 |

I have always wanted to be an explorer. Ever since I was younger.

The paddle this morning was the chance to do just that - 7.5 miles of un-paddled territory with a lot of new and exciting bits and pieces. This was it. The moment to prove myself.

I was also trialling my Vibram's, the newest addition to my kit. I was so against shoes. Sophie against shoes.