| 2018 | 06 | 30 | june empties |

Sure | Maximum Protection deodorant | 45ml [£4.99, Boots]
Nyx | Liquid Suede Lipstick | Oh put it on | [£7.00, Asos]
Nyx | Liquid Suede Lipstick | Subversive socialist | [£7.00, Asos]
Dove | Shea Butter Bar | 100g [£0.67, Boots]
Tresemme | Botanique Conditioner | 400ml [£4.99, Superdrug]
The Abnormal Beauty Company | subq anti-age | 30ml [£30.00, Deciem]
Provoke | Touch of Silver Shampoo | 150ml [£3.19, Superdrug]
Nivea | Invisible Black & White Clear 48hr Anti-perspirant deodorant spray | 250ml [£2.50, Boots]
Nivea | Rich Nourishing Body Lotion | 400ml [£5.99, Superdrug]


That's better again! It's not brilliant, but in comparison to the £300 of previous months it's getting there.

I'm clearly settling into some favourites (Nivea deodorant,  Dove soap bar) and realising that I'd much rather use a solid shampoo instead of those plastic bottles.


| 2018 | 06 | 20 | jerry has a birthday |

This man. 

The one photographed below, is my true hero. People always ask about role models, but Jeremy Bruce, the man and the legend, is an inspiration. 

 I think it's because I'm exposed not only to his triumphs daily, but his flaws. 

We don't exactly have the breeziest of relationships. He finds me infuriating. I find him equally so. 

I'm not exactly known for being predictable and I think he finds that a challenge. 


| 2018 | 06 | 18 | monday blue |

I think my favourite fact today was 'ostriches don't bury their heads in the sand.

'Its a ridiculous notion, and one we can disprove. It would make them vulnerable to predators, the elements and be generally uncomfortable'

Then this kicker. Which made me giggle for far too long.

'They also haven't developed the ability to breathe underground'.

See I would've put that first. But that's just me.

This weekend was too much.

I spent the entirety of Saturday sorting out the decking and to be honest, the only difference in these photos is my shoe placement.

It was also Father's day on Sunday. Jerry is my hero. 

 I'm making sufficient progress on this. Deadline is july. In case you were worried that I'm making a giant triangle, it's actually working diagonally across a square.

I'm going to address things today.
With a stamp. No but seriously. There are a lot of topics I'm omitting intentionally for reasons not here listed. It doesn't mean I'm not doing those things, it just means that they're not going to be featured on here.... like pictures of friends (which is why it's now entirely selfies), family events and major life changes. 
Past experience has taught a lot. 


| 2018 | 06 | 16 | saturday babble |

so i was telling my coworker about the time i got stuck to a bus and then we both went to break the coffee machine and she's still there and I think I've left it too long to admit I knew it was going to explode (she's cleaning up).

I also think that I shouldn't be in air traffic control given I just unplugged our computers by spinning increasingly quickly in a clockwise direction because i didn't want to engage with my work on screen.

I also bought grapes hoping they were blueberries, despite the packaging and everything suggesting they are grapes and disappointingly they have turned out to be prewine.

I don't like wine.

and milkshake. Nobody is going to drink raw milk but it improves over time. and with the addition of sugar.

I bought oat milk.

And spinach. Damn it I forgot to have that for lunch.


A double wink is a blink. So when you're tryng to wink twice as hard at someone then they just think you're having a muscular spasm.

Ah well.

my first paragraph implies we intentionally broke the coffee machine. We actually just wanted a nice fresh brew before settling in for a solid 12 minutes of work.


| 2018 | 06 | 15 | friday |

I tell people I'm a vegetarian because in actual fact I just don't like most peoples cooking.

- - -

Road trips are not complete without jelly babies. 

We did this to a lot more conkers than probably necessary. 

They're now out in the world giving squirrels ink poisoning. 

Or the elderly a heart attack.

update:: I'm now almost 100% certain the strawberry plants are tomato plants. (tomatoe, tomator, tamata). So... kinda changes my jam plans

- - -

I am regularly reminded of on particular car journey, during which I reversed back off of a junction (almost hitting the car behind) at which point my passenger calmly/fearfully yelled 'NO SOPHIE'. 

Moments later I was taking us through a narrow gap (another car had also decided they wanted to come from the other direction) so I started yelling I AM PUSHING. This is not the correct way to handle your vehicle.

Less yelling more controlled and careful decisions.

- - -

How was my evening off?

I want to go back to the seaside and sing my sea song to the sea horses and throw fish fingers at sea gulls.

 Genuinely such a great day out. 

A bit random. Yes. 

I napped in the car so hard. But between us we had an incredible time.

Where next bover?

- - - 

work:: is super hard at the moment. A co-worker has left us, and all her work, and it's fallen to me. I'm a big girl, I can handle it - I'm just exhausted. 

I will be taking tomorrow evening off training.


| 2018 | 06 | 14 | owls |

'I grew up thinking Eminem was my uncle for no valid reason and then I realised he wasn't and I was kind of shocked'

it all started in 1992
when my mum was a giraffe
hottest day in history
we were strolling down a street
longest street ever by the way


| 2018 | 06 | 13 | miniscule |

um. well.

Things that happened last week:

- I invented a new word. Was then informed you can't do that on Wednesdays

- I fell in the Thames. On more than one occasion. Wearing slightly different underwear.

- I went outside in an unprecedented manner

- I consumed more caffeine than legal and I think I like it.

as part of my 18th celebrations, we went for afternoon tea in the Ritz. It was amazing. Would happily go back any day of the week.

part of our pre-performance prep. we then went out on stage and absolutely smashed it


| 2018 | 06 | 07 | fight club |

alternate cooking methods

burning on a fire

laser printer

I'm getting my eyebrows done. my mum asked for the price and when i replied she then clarified

'for both?' no no gill. i'm only getting the left done cause I'm wild and live a little bit to the extreme.


I felt intimidated by a gaggle of the elderly this morning to the point I crossed the road.

they were terrifying.

sometimes I like to accessorise with items I consider cultural greats. This DVD is no exception. we don't even own a DVD player.


also my spotify account was hacked last week. I miss them. I felt that we were communicating - my personal favourite was contributing to their listening experience by playing songs from classics such as 'angry birds' and disney remixes which should have never been made. But eventually that had to go because hacking is illegal.

I'm not about that.



'excuse me sir. your child is dressesd as a bumblebee'

I really hope that child dressed themselves. Bees are aspirational.


| 2018 | 06 | 04 | the big fish |

This weekend I was super pissed at myself.



Running the risk of sounding repetitive... I'm gonna be quite repetitive for the next few weeks. I'm getting good at this waiting game.

There's a balance between living in the now and understanding the direct relationship between working for what you want and getting it.

Oh and my toe still hurts.

It's not ideal.


| 2018 | 06 | 02 | these are the things I cannot see |

I am in love.

With my #notmyboat boat. 

Milo is sort of dead to me but I have the perfect new name for my new new boat. 
Just you wait.

I have been out for dinner a little bit much this week - it's probably not so good for my waistline but gotta love a dinner date between friends. 


This weekend is going to be so much fun.

I want someone who will follow me round ikea and not question my need for things. 

Then we can leave and get some spaghetti. 

sorry I'm kinda naked. I can't do a proper thumbs up.

I am adoinkable. 

check those freckles. They are fabulous. 

I am normally a very positive person. 

I cried at work today.

If one more bad thing happens to the people I love this year, I swear something inside of me might snap.

I don't understand how to channel bad feelings. 


People keep asking me why I have a piece of string tied round my wrist.

Firstly, it was what I used for my lucky wingnut.

Which is now holiday-ing around Portugal.


Have you seriously never heard of a wish-bracelet?

It was something my nan told me.

'close your eyes and make a wish
then tie your bracelet on your wrist
keep your wish close to your heart
and wear it til it comes apart
when finally the cords wear through
your wish releases and comes true!'

I don't believe in wishes, or any of that nonsense. 

But it doesn't hurt to try.

Just in case. 

Also can we please have a moment of silence for the time wasted to sorting out the red, white and yellow cables on the back of the TV?

Like kids these days will never know the struggle.

Bloody HDMI


Today. This continued for a while.

then I confronted Charlie.

and cried. on the floor.


Saving money doesn't have to be hard.

Sleep until midday - that way you only have to eat two meals instead of three.

When you go into a supermarket lick all the fruit. Then they'll be begging you to take it off their hands [this won't work with clothes]


My dad has been away all week. When do I need to tell him we've lost a bin again?

And I overfed the fishes. They need to grow quickly. 

Oh. Pak Choi. 


| 2018 | 06 | 01 | noisy, messy, loud |

well log out then?

the 1812 overture

Debuting in Moscow, 1882, it covers the war, depicting pieces of the French national anthem against Russian folk melodies. These two themes go back and forth - climaxing at the Battle of Borodino and the five cannon blasts. The success of the Russians is then bellowed out across the whole orchestra with a pretty epic rendition of O Lord, Save Thy People with some random bell ringing and more cannons. 

It's just a bit noisy and messy. and bangy. 

It's also massively mocked by musicians and conductors alike for its poor positioning in history and even the inability to properly time the cannons with the score. 

vulgar. listen though. you might learn a thing. 

Okay back to the swan.

My dad.

My dad is a unique specimen.

He's short, bald and rotund.

He has his quirks. He likes things just so. 

He's eaten toast for breakfast since he was 2 and a half. 

Every single outfit consists of a collared top. 

But this is the story of The Royal Albert Hall.

- - -

He was a little excited you see, my dad, because there was a concert in that fairly famous location. His youngest daughter was playing the bassoon, the other... was supposed to be playing the cello.  

She hadn't actually been paying any attention at rehearsals and still wasn't sure of the performance piece. Or where she was sitting. Or anything really. 

But that was okay. You can't really see in the recording where she drops her bow and kind of just sits there. 

During the interlude. Jerry wanted a 'splore. 'Splorin is a mitchell thing, passed down the generations. I can train you. 

- - -

Up the steppy steps we went, and he got more and more excited. You see, he knew where we were going. He knew we'd get kicked out by security. But he didn't care.

We went round the back of the boxes, sneakily passing those with staff outside. 

We kept walking, and he kept hushing. 

'HERE'. He didn't yell.

He kind of jogged into the box, and started moving the chairs. 

'Dad! Dad! What are you doing?!'

I could hear people outside. 

Jerry started to hum too, and I had no idea what was going on.

He turned, gasped and giggled.

'Yes! The Queen has been here too!'

He then sat on all the chairs. 

And ran around in the corners. 

'Dad what the bloody hell are you doing?!'

'Excuse me sir. I'm going to have to ask you leave'

We both shouted it at the same time. Me. And the man wearing a security badge. 

My dad has never looked so pleased with himself. We were taken down to reception.

He finally whispered. 

'That. Was the royal box. We practically stood with royalty. '

Half an hour of explaining ourselves so my dad could rearrange the furniture and stand where a small lady sometimes stands. 

Thanks dad.