I literally don't know.
I saw a snake.
But it's not a snake it's a slow worm which is a reptile which isn't a platypus despite wanting to be one.
But chickens also lay eggs but aren't snakes.
It's actually very confusing.
Today I went to get a dress altered.
I walked in, was instructed to put the offending garment on before being lead to the seamstress for assessment.
She tutted - before grabbing me and the dress, seemingly angry that it didn't fit. Whilst muttering very fast in Thai she ascertained I hadn't in fact bought ill fitting clothing - I had lost weight.
She then tutted again, before running off.
I didn't really know what to do, so I tried to play it cool. I struck some casual poses (think a squat, having a wave, the flamingo... you know) awaiting her return, slightly overdressed for 9 in the morning.
She entered from a different door and threw a packet of digestive biscuits at me.
'You have a choice, you either fit the dress or I fit the dress to you. This is cheaper.'
I'm not sure if I can really fault that logic.
edit: I want to find someone with the surname chapman to marry and have a son with . who i will name guy.
Thank you.
I'm done here.
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God I hate mondays. With the exception of Tuesdays.
My sister saw a man do a u-turn metres before a roundabout. I feel someone is obligated to explain the function of roundabouts.
Until that point we should just dwell on the fact that I'm writing this 5 days late.
A couple are walking 10m apart from each other. clearly a sign of marriage.
