Wednesday

| 2018 | 05 | 30 | may empties |

I got way too excited.

















Tresemme | Keratin Smooth Conditioner | 400ml [£4.99, Superdrug]
The Body Shop | Almond Hand Cream | 100ml [£12.00, The Body Shop]
No7 | Triple Protection Tinted Moisturiser | 50ml [£13, Boots]
Palmers | Cocoa Butter Formula Massage Cream | 125g [£5, Amazon]
Rimmel | Traffic Stopping Eyeshadow | [£6.49, Boots]
Better you | Magnesium Oil | 15ml [£2.99, Holland & Barrett]
Nivea | Invisible Black & White Clear 48hr Anti-perspirant deodorant spray | 250ml [£2.50, Boots]
Nip + Fab | Glycolic Fix Serum | [£15.49, Superdrug]

£62.46

Now that's more like it.


| 2018 | 05 | 30 | hot air balloons |

It's funny, isn't it, when something is over.


A feeling of.... weightlessness. 


Whether it be a job, a dream, a relationship, some kind of hell or simply just a chore. There's a moment of release when it's done.

Today, I received a different kind of confirmation. One that has been a long time coming.

On.

- - -

Ode to a lost sock.

Or


Kayak salad, Alaska yak

Meg, am I naive? No, yaw a kayak on Evian, I'm a gem

These are actually backwards.

- - -

we mispelled compitition. 

It's okay. It was no biggy. BIG E.

i am on it today. 

- - -









Monday

| 2018 | 05 | 28 | i do not like green eggs |

the bumps was yesterday.

It was everything it always has been.

Awful. Amateur.


However I firstly need to cover something about kayaking which I'm not sure you'll be interested in.

This weekend, two of my team walked away from World Cup with two silver medals each (one for the long and short course).

They're juniors.

I genuinely had tears of pride at seeing these kids do so well.

It's quite surreal actually - like I'm aware they're incredible little athletes, and when training on the water they trash me, but when you think that the gap between us is what makes a world class athletes then I don't feel half as bad.

Okay back to the bumps.


To be honest, this is the most refreshing piece of organisation I've seen. Somehow, against all odds this event comes together and everyone has an awesome time. 

Sunday

| 2018 | 05 | 27 | fork candles |



made me laugh for far too long today.






















we were crying and trying to have a serious conversation with our boss.

professionalism 101.


























thank.

is all.

- - -

I still have these in a pocket.



Saturday

| 2018 | 05 | 26 | dabble dibble |

Yesterday evening was all fun and a little bit of games.



WHO REMEMBERS TWITCH PLAYS POKEMON.



I still cannot.

3 years on.

How the bloody hell? Speaking of bloody, the events of bloody sunday still haunt me...







route 9. do we remember route 9.

Bird Jesus lived on though.

Helix Fossil forever.

---

Anyway. Moving on from probably my nerdiest revelation. 



It's the little things at the moment. 

It's the everyday samples of humanity which in reality keep our weird worlds turning. 

It's my neighbour opposite knowing more about my life than I do. 

It's the awkward relationship with the ones next door. Never knowing. 

It's the postman (I need to ask his name) and our daily exchange about the weather. 

I see the same old man walking a different dog three times a day and another walking the same one twice. 

The joke I have with the man in the post office that one day, I will bring him a cocktail. But until then he promises to post my post. 

It's the constant struggle I have internally with feeling like I'm both failing and succeeding in the same breath. Looking at what I've been through, this particular version of events is technically in the 'impossible' section - but looking at what I should be capable of it's hardly enough. That keeps me focused. And daydreaming. 

It's the songs I listen to on my short commute. Which in itself is something I shouldn't take for granted. 

My colleagues.

The ukulele I own which I only ever seem to play three songs on.




This is me. After 5,000 words of essaying and blogging. I promise I'm smiling on the inside. Somewhere deep inside.

Then here's me before going out.

I don't drink.










if you don't see this as a problem. Then we have a problem... understood?

Friday

| 2018 | 05 | 25 | summer |

one of my favourite days last year was early august.

I'd woken up with nothing to do that day and gotten it into my head that paddling to henley and back would be a brilliant idea. 

Instead. I took out milo.

smashed him into a concrete wall. It's honestly not my fault I'm useless at portaging. Have you seen my boat?






























To clarify, my K1 is called milo. i didn't just target some poor passer by and attempt to give them a brain injury. 

that's not my thing. 


There were 26 miles involved 

I did each and every single one. mainly by myself as my support crew got lost somewhere past temple lock and we didn't reunite for a few hours. It's lucky I'm not prone to getting myself in ridiculous situations isn't it?!



- - -

maybe i'm just used to fire seasons. 

and know all too well how everything disappears when the smoke fades. 

---

Adulthood.

Adulthood is mainly checking your bank account and tutting to yourself for those spontaneous shopping trips 4 years ago. 

Adulthood is avoiding eye contact with your ringing phone. I often stare blankly at the wall.

It's all about scrolling now. Don't bother to actually engage with social media. Just die a little inside. 

Being an adult is learning to function on no sleep and still look like you have your shit together. 

Making promises to yourself you know you'll never keep. Like getting off the internet. 

Thursday

| 2018 | 05 | 24 | in flash |









people. it's funny how we have a word for the concept of infinity but we don't have the ability to actually comprehend it.

I miss in depth, critical writing.

I can't wait to start studying in October.

I'm going to be so poor.

---


ruler of plankton. 

plankalot.

2x4.

I could go on really. 

what do all these photos below have in common?







\


significance. we don't always get to determine it's extremity. 


Wednesday

| 2018 | 05 | 23 | artichokes make a delicious dip |


my foot is still quite bad. In fact, I was back on crutches yesterday during a photoshoot. 

I'm also genuinely exhausted from the sheer number of music videos I star in in my head. 

I wanted to take more photos but I wasn't allowed as they're PR shots and the product doesn't exist yet. or does it? I'm not entirely sure. I'll leave that with you. 
The photographer was actually really incredible, he gave me a snickers bar. I was hangry. These two facts are unrelated. 

Anyway, after work I hobbled home and passed out on the sofa, only to be woken by my neighbours arguing. 

 I always feel a bit rude when the sound drifts through the walls, like, I can't help hearing it but I feel like I shouldn't.

Probably true that, but I don't know if they realise we can hear things.

I suppose it's payback for the number of times they've heard me running round the house yelling adele hits a tone sharp for dramatic effect. 

 I wisely didn't paddle and I'm feeling a bit detached from the sport. I think I need a new hobby. 




there's a party and you're not invited::

I wish someone would ask me about my cheerleading days. Any of them. especially the old ones. 

I'm not looking for a husband but a man who knows his fountain pens would actually be the one. 

I took a deep breath today and answered all the messages on my whatsapp and messenger. I felt bad for there being over 25 people being left on read. I'm sorry. 

I have a really nice dress and I'd like somewhere to wear it to - I would ask for suggestions but I'm still booked from the stalker incident and I think it's best we leave that there.

---

question.
why does everyone say the doors in life are locked? that's a terrifying way to live. every time one door closes another one might not open and then you're stuck outside with no way to get to the dinner you have in the microwave.

so to re-write the quote. 'one door closes.... another door opens i'm gonna slam it back open'

just. think on that. 



Monday

| 2018 | 05 | 21 | igloos and butterscotch |

Yesterday I was stuck in a car for the majority of the day. It was moderately mind-numbing and gave me time to daydream.

As we drove past one particular spot on the motorway, I was transported back to a previous traffic jam in which I had been pondering something I had published online. I remember getting home and hitting 'revert to draft' on everything. That was the first time I stopped sharing.

I'm not sure that was a bad thing though.

Because.

I think I was so foolish to do that. To give complete access to my thoughts, feelings, motivations & reactions from every aspect of my day. To allow a passerby the privilege, something usually earned.

Sometimes I wish I could read minds. But then when you realise that would mean others could see your thoughts it slows down that wish a little.



I do wonder though, if people realised how much they hurt you by 'being oblivious'.

Ignoring messages. 

Purposefully pretending they've forgotten things. 

Making promises they have no intention of keeping just to sound better than they are. 

Acting tough. 

Lying. 



I think social media has made it so much easier to be cruel to those around us. 

I'm guilty of it too. Sometimes I won't read a message because it's difficult to reply to. Sometimes I'll read it and never reply. 

I'll pick some conversations over others, which I think is truly awful.




We paint the picture of ourselves we want to see, rather than seeing the one we actually are.





if this picture hasn't sold tickets at go ape... i don't know what will.

| 2018 | 05 | 21 | i think now is the best time |

This weekend was long.

As in.

Long.

Also sidenote: this might be my first post of late which actually bears a relationship with the real world.



So back to friday. I wore my third favourite lipstick and wow did it get some kind of interesting responses from the general public. 

That's the after.

The tired, slightly sweaty, grouchy human you see in that photo has tolerated more than her pay should strictly dictate.






Okay so today. 

I dislocated my toe mid kayaking race. 

Which, if you weren't aware. Is a particularly unusual injury for a non contact sport. and an unhelpful one, given I need my toes to steer. 

The below two photos are moments after the start, we were in a nice third place chasing down the two lead crews. 

Positioning wise it was less than ideal. The photos don't quite show how close we were to a solid bank, nor how rough the water was. That probably explains my eyebrow. Sheer focus. 


Em was my absolute hero in getting me back to the finish post injury.

Doesn't mean I'm not angry at myself.


Also. 

I have been reunited with a certain something called a hairbrush. 


Sunday

| 2018 | 05 | 20 | sunshine lollipop |

Today is race day.

So when you read this I'll actually be in a car heading toward the start line. 

my nerves are definitely threatening to get the better of me.

this is so attractive. yummy yummy. 

Day 5: warm.

This is a throwback to my amazing runs in the south of france. It hit 39 degrees on one of them and I genuinely stopped being able to cool off.  Sadly the foliage offered no real protection from the sun so I had to push on and get home. 

One ice bath later I was ready to rehydrate. Will not make that mistake again. 

---

The sophie mitchell guide to getting lost.

I love a good 'splore. 

'splorin is different to exploring btw. 

People are very easily confused. I am a level 17 'splorer and qualified coach. I will help you. 

You kind of. 

You have to go looking. But not looking for anything in particular. People are always so preoccupied they forget to look properly. 

Have a really good look.

Don't rush. Don't have an end goal. Just take it in. Maybe move a log. Check out if the tree is okay. Ask a bird where they're going. 

Go left. But not because you planned to.

I love the outside. 

It's very not inside. 

Inside is not good apart from when I need a snuggle and a snooze. 




Saturday

| 2018 | 05 | 19 | my days |

For reasons seemingly unbeknownst to many a man, yesterday was a tumultuous rollercoaster of emotions, culminating in me essentially standing on my office chair and yelling at the room - 'I refuse to do this anymore'.

They sympathised.

They became my sounding boards.

The evening gave me a chance to think and do some quiet colouring. Because I'm a small child at heart and don't know where the lines are.

---

Today we kicked off by recreating a few scenes from Eddie the Eagle. 

I've had and will always have had enough coffee. 



I am a little bit pissed. 

 




Friday

| 2018 | 05 | 18 | i'm a hungry caterpillar |

I'm afraid of the things in my brain
but we can stay here, under the duvet
and laugh. laugh away any of my fears

Feet. they touch feet.
hands they touch hands and bodies intertwined.
I'm lost and afraid but with you by my side



the shawplank redemption
eddie the plank
plank the giant peach
batplank


---

last year.

I'd been demanding to go to the seaside for a while now. In an effort to shut me up, holiday days were booked and plans were planned. It was epic.

'who's  gonna babysit sophie today?'

Straws were drawn. Rock paper scissors was played. Eventually a poor sod was selected and the game was a foot. 


To tire me out, we went via a big place. 

It was so big we legitimately got lost (following my directions). 

But I was busy rearranging the landscape. 



I also can't climb trees. I can get my one foot super high though. 


There was a lot of bench hunting. 

Basically. 


It's always good to have a dad to carry your shoes, things and pebbles. And sticks. 

I found lots. 

On a beach. 

I found pebbles. 




Okay the sole reason for going to the beach was because there's a fish shortage somewhere and I wanted to put some back. 

Cue disgusting defrosted fish fingers and fish cakes being given to the sea gulls.