| 2018 | 04 | 05 | shrek: part plank |


I bet you thought you knew all the embarrassing stories. 

I bet you thought you knew all the bad days I've had.

But really. No.

I think it's time we went over the incident involving a small child and a large bottle of squash. 

- - -

I think.

I don't really know how it happened, to be honest. 

I didn't intentionally spill the entire contents of that bottle over the blonde haired child. 

It looked so much worse because it was blackcurrant. And because the little darling was wearing light blue. 

Okay no. It looked bad anyway. But I can tell you now, it got worse.


For some reason when the mother approached and questioned me my response was not sorry, or even just to offer to help.


I shrugged. 

shrugged and imparted some wise words. 

'life. it is what it is.'

Shrugged again. Then wandered off. 

Away from the scene. Away from the sticky offspring.