| 2018 | 02 | 02 | another throwback. maybe 4 years |

For any of you who care, we've essentially reached the 5 month mark until the next round of Tough Guy - the toughest obstacle race on the planet. 

The below photograph is me in a state of genuine fatigue, unable to really comprehend the situation other than that I was cold, hungry and felt very tired. I'm close to tears, but everyone is laughing because I put my hat on backwards, and around half an hour later I passed out in the car. Ross wasn't much better - he was escorted away by his parents and given a large amount of red wine. 

Despite all this, I still feel such a great sense of pride and achievement that we made it round. Recently it came up in conversation and amidst claims it was the hardest ever course I have completed I also played down the difficulties we'd faced - the breakdown, ice, hypothermia and panic attacks. As I recounted what we'd had to do, it sounded pretty stupid. Why would you put yourself through that unnecessarily? Well, until you've crossed the line yourself, I can't answer that one I'm afraid. 

that's a genuine 'emergency chocolate time' face. seriously. crack out the smarties. 
Tough Guy essentially represents everything that scares me. Cold, water and heights are something I need to work on.

Which is why recently I've been attempting to become more comfortable with the river Thames ... through marathon kayaking, obviously. Fun though. It will come in handy one day. Life skillz. 

This is cool. okay?
I'm loving being constantly busy. On edge. I literally haven't had a proper chance to sit down and fill in my sticker book. Peppa Pig don't ya know. 

Running really fast. I don't know what drives me. I don't know what keeps me going through the pain and stress of pushing beyond a comfortable level. I do know however, how good chicken tastes when you've just worked out, and my god, it tastes good. 

I'm going on holiday next week and I've already packed my running gear. Yes. I will be running.