| 2018 | 01 | 02 | what if |

What if all I was is a slow, simple and quiet life? What if I am actually most happy in the space of in between. Where the calm lives, where I can potter along doing the things that make me happy.

The world is such a busy place. Everyone is always telling me to dream bigger, aim higher, to improve, strive, yearn, compete and grasp. For bigger and better. Sacrifice precious moments like sleep for productivity. Make my life 'count'. Go big or go home. Everyone is always straight up just telling me what to do. 

But what if I'm at my happiest walking quietly along, spending my time outdoors? I don't want to waste it, but I'm happy spending my time the way I want to.

What if I just offer the world what I can and stop fighting with everyone to have the biggest house, the biggest salary or the fastest car? I just want a house. I just want to earn enough to live comfortably and not worry and I really shouldn't have a fast car at all.

I've accepted I'm fairly average. My body is neither big or small, my legs are too short and my arms too long. I'm in between. My hair will never look perfect, nor will my face - courtesy of the genetics that built me. But that's no bother. Because everything does what I need it to.

I have my hobbies, I have my interests, I have my friends and I have something that keeps me fit. And to each, I commit everything I can. I have no more to give but that.

I'm not cut out to be ruthless. To cut others down and put myself first. I'm happy to let others crack on, do their thing but I don't have to make that my thing and I won't get in their way.

I have accepted that I'm nothing special. I'm made to plod along and have my own adventures. I only want to be happy, and have the things around me that achieve that.

So please stop telling me to chase a salary, a career or some other arbitrary measure of success. Please stop telling me that I'm wasting my time with things or asking if it will be worth it in the end. Because yes.

It probably won't be.

But that's alright.