Starting over is tough.
It's hard to admit that things weren't right the way before.
Confronting things is hard. It can feel like brushing out tangled hair, hurts like hell and is a constant battle through snags and knots. The longer you leave it the worse it gets and then you're just left with a matted clump.
But over-brushing can lead to all the hairs falling out.
Balance.
may your coffee kick in before reality does.
i want to reclaim my toddler phase energy.
speaking of energy, my hair reflects my mood.
I'm a very outward person.
What a month july was.
yesterday someone got annoyed I said he was my height. I didn't call him short. just my height. that confirms that then eh?
i'd be quite short for a goalkeeper.
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It is now well over half way through this year. Honestly, that blows my mind.
The c word has well and truly ruined things for well over 12 months and I feel that I need to take back control of my routine and time.
I've been existing in a weird limbo of not knowing what's coming next, so have just been here, living.
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lots of runners running around these days
running past everything
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an ode to my running shoes.
I had to get rid of these bad boys yesterday, and was weirdly nostalgic about it.
my trusty orange shoes.
two rolled ankles
one torn hamstring
more miles than necessary.
early starts
late finishes
weights
running to meetings
running to shops
winter training
summer training
I wrote a long blog post before about my work shoes.
I think I deleted it.
this is a photo dump for july, and I have to be honest I've really lost my photography ways.
We're working our way through the mega monster series (godzilla and kong) before I will tackle the marvel selection ... 23 films. I can wait.
it is my birthday month.
the theme at the moment is wholesome fun. it's about getting outdoors and moving. exploring. hanging out. we're going through a phase of treasure hunting and absolutely loving it.
being okay with not being okay
does not make things
automatically better.
but it does stop you
from adding more to
an already difficult situation.
being okay with not being okay
helps you let go
It's been a while hasn't it?
It's been so long I honestly don't know how I used to keep this up for more than an hour a month.
But I'll be honest I've missed this slow but wholesome outpour of my emotions and think it is time to revisit things.
It is now april. I'm a few weeks into a new job and loving it.
I promise there is more to follow.
Oh wow I'm already behind on my weekly wind-downs.
Though to be fair not a lot has actually happened.
most years I write a summary post that is a celebration of the year that has past. but I've sort of abandoned that in the same way that my weekly wind-downs wound down into a nothingness.
I have no idea how to concisely summarise the last 12 months and the events therein. I don't know how to explain to those who are also experiencing the exact same series of events (perhaps in a slightly different way) that these series of events suck, without it sounding like I'm throwing a pity party.
2020 has officially sucked balls. in the formal sense.
I don't think I've truly processed the implications of this year and how our lives will continue to be affected well into 2021. I just don't understand. Obviously I understand this situation in a literal sense, but in any other sense things don't fully compute.
