| 2021 | 09 | 23 | look for it |

 may your coffee kick in before reality does.

i want to reclaim my toddler phase energy.

speaking of energy, my hair reflects my mood. 

I'm a very outward person. 

"BLOG_video_class"

| 2021 | 08 | 04 | real talk |

 What a month july was.

yesterday someone got annoyed I said he was my height. I didn't call him short. just my height. that confirms that then eh?

i'd be quite short for a goalkeeper. 

---

I think farm animals have it quite tough actually. They're not exotic. they're not unusual, they're just everywhere. which is handy for me. 

we formed a band. 

| 2021 | 08 | 04 | butter |

 It is now well over half way through this year. Honestly, that blows my mind. 

The c word has well and truly ruined things for well over 12 months and I feel that I need to take back control of my routine and time. 

I've been existing in a weird limbo of not knowing what's coming next, so have just been here, living. 

---

lots of runners running around these days

running past everything 

----

an ode to my running shoes. 

I had to get rid of these bad boys yesterday, and was weirdly nostalgic about it. 

my trusty orange shoes.

two rolled ankles

one torn hamstring

more miles than necessary.

early starts

late finishes

weights

running to meetings

running to shops

winter training

summer training

they have a hole in them and are technically too small. but still. i want to wear them until i can't anymore. 

I wrote a long blog post before about my work shoes. 

I think I deleted it. 

| 2021 | 07 | 27 | here we go again |

 well well well. We're back to the old 'i forgot to write anything for months and now don't know how to dip back into my dialogue' post.  

this is a photo dump for july, and I have to be honest I've really lost my photography ways. 

We're working our way through the mega monster series (godzilla and kong) before I will tackle the marvel selection ... 23 films. I can wait.

it is my birthday month.

the theme at the moment is wholesome fun. it's about getting outdoors and moving. exploring. hanging out. we're going through a phase of treasure hunting and absolutely loving it. 

this is angus in his natural state. 

I will be working backwards to move forward and try to stick to regularly doing this again. I have missed it. the weekly outpour of life. also whatever happened to my empties?!

| 2021 | 05 | 12 | context |

 

be okay.

 being okay with not being okay

does not make things

automatically better. 

but it does stop you 

from adding more to 

an already difficult situation. 

being okay with not being okay

helps you let go 

2021 | 04 | 23 |

 It's been a while hasn't it?

It's been so long I honestly don't know how I used to keep this up for more than an hour a month. 

But I'll be honest I've missed this slow but wholesome outpour of my emotions and think it is time to revisit things. 

It is now april. I'm a few weeks into a new job and loving it. 

I promise there is more to follow. 

| 2021 | 01 | week 4 |

 Oh wow I'm already behind on my weekly wind-downs.

Though to be fair not a lot has actually happened. 

| 2020 | 12 | 31 | yeah. that happened.

 most years I write a summary post that is a celebration of the year that has past. but I've sort of abandoned that in the same way that my weekly wind-downs wound down into a nothingness. 

I have no idea how to concisely summarise the last 12 months and the events therein. I don't know how to explain to those who are also experiencing the exact same series of events (perhaps in a slightly different way) that these series of events suck, without it sounding like I'm throwing a pity party. 

2020 has officially sucked balls. in the formal sense. 

I don't think I've truly processed the implications of this year and how our lives will continue to be affected well into 2021. I just don't understand. Obviously I understand this situation in a literal sense, but in any other sense things don't fully compute. 

much of this year has been a learning curve. learning how to adapt. learning that new things are okay. it's also been a real test of patience. we're being given rules that are so far out of our control and just being instructed to 'get on with it all'. 

we've walked. a lot. a lot of walking.

we've read books. not enough books but more than we probably would have.

I've dyed my hair red. then let it wash out before dyeing it again.

we've spent a lot of time alone.  

I've online shopped hard. I've then had a shopping ban. Then I shopped again.

we've queued for shops. 

we've done online quizzes. 

we've complained. 

we've sighed. 

we've watched boris give increasingly negative accounts of the world. 

I've rolled my eyes a lot. that seems to be my new coping mechanism. 

we've spent too much time online. social media is hurting us. 

we've napped. 

we've also spent nights unable to sleep. 

we've eaten out to help out. 

then we've eaten in to hide from the rest of the population. 

we've learnt that the number 6 vastly reduces our social sphere. 

we've celebrated more birthdays than we thought we would. 

we've been to the beach. 

i've kayaked a lot. 

there was a sunflower. 

the majority of summer was spent out side. that was quite nice actually. 

angus's three week stay is yet to end. probably more like 40 now and counting. 

he has his own desk. (but only for three weeks)

we went to harry potter world.

we attended dance classes. 

then there was zoom. 

a life online is not a life. but it's our life. 

i've seen more of my dad this year. that's nice too. 

the cats are so used to constant attention i don't think it's fair to stop that now. i'll have to tell my boss.