Monday, 26 March 2018

| journal | 2018 | 03 | 26 | musing |

today is a monday. it's an opportunity to shake off the mistakes of the previous seven days and start over.

love a start over.

i used to get anxious when things were going too well. I am scared of good things because there's always something bad coming my way . I also don't enjoy having a better time than others. I find that hard.

However, today, as we sat eating lunch on a bench overlooking the valley, I was genuinely content. I'd left my phone god knows where and was just absorbing some pigeon yelling at its friends. My gifted sandwich fell apart and left a tomato stain on my jeans - joining the sharpie lines and a smudge of tippex. I'm a mess. We laughed.

I have no make up on, besides my eye-brows and the small amount of bb cream concealing last weeks outbreak of blemishes - and that's okay. Blemishes are actually part of life, and I'm on a long term mission to be totally okay with them. It's not going well. Oh and I haven't properly brushed my hair since friday. It does what it likes. Independent.

Over the course of an hour, six people walked past. We all shared a brief exchange - these people have been joining me on my lunch break for just over two years .. we're all locked into our routines and it was funny to have a new witness.

I'm going to miss this.