Tuesday, 20 March 2018

| journal | 2018 | 03 | 20 | tuesday | colours |

'Battery low'

Oh god please no, I muttered to myself as I departed the train, frantically sifting through my bag in the hope I had my back up headphones. 

Sighing, I moved through to the main part of London Paddington, looking for a shop that might sell something that would serve as a replacement. A fruitless browse of Smiths later I was seriously considering walking for an hour across London - all to avoid being on the tube.

You've never had to do this have you? Travel on the underground when every sound creates a wall of colour that you end up dazed, disoriented and tired? I checked my route, counted the stops and prepared myself for the visual onslaught. 6 if I could handle it, 4 my minimum. 

I kept my headphones in my ears to block out the worst, but otherwise was left to the mercy of my colours. 

I descended the steps, took a left and then a right before standing on the platform. Already I was struggling - a train pulled up and I could barely see to check if it was the correct one.

I get on the train, the couple to my left are having a heated debate (purple) and as we pick up speed the brakes are making an offensive orange sound. Brilliant. I close my eyes to focus, only paying attention to the number of stops. 

By the time we arrive at Sloan Square, I'm committed to following the woman in front of me in the hopes she'll lead me to fresh air. 

Otherwise I'm gonna be going round and round a while. 

Thankfully, I'm at the barriers not long after and able to walk down the road away from the hustle and bustle - giving myself time to collect myself before asking to be picked up. 

Yay. Go me. 

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Sensory overload can be exhausting. You'll need to hold my hand if we're somewhere new and it's busy. If sounds are unpredictable or I'm having to concentrate, it's hard to then cancel out any visual disturbances. 

I'm amused that a fire alarm could reduce my vision sufficiently so that I can't get out. 

My night vision can be awful, in the dark the colours are even more prominent. 

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I find it really hard sometimes when I experience a situation, film or album and people can't relate with what I've seen. 

I imagine it affects how I perceive people - I'm going to be more drawn to someone whose voice I find 'pretty' versus a really yellow one. Go figure. 



If I'm ill or in a heightened emotional state, my colours can shift. 

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Lesson learnt. Always carry spare headphones.