Tuesday, 27 March 2018

| journal | 2018 | 03 | 27 | lists |

I made this list in 2015 and at the time I thought it was long and couldn't get much worse.

Wow. Boy oh boy was I naive.

1. Today, I had a plate of lasagne. Somehow, as I was attempting to put it on the table, I completely missed and dropped it on the floor. If you had seen it happen, it would just have looked like I got close to the table then let go of my food. In my mind my spatial awareness was spot on...

2. I punched a man on the train (it's in one of my old posts). It didn't end well.

3. I tripped an old lady up on crutches. She laughed it off. We made friends.

4. I ran headfirst into another runner and we both fell into a puddle (that's also an old post in case you wanted to find out more).

5. I've pushed more than 5 people into the Thames. Separately.

6. I used to just run straight into my door (aged 6). I would just run into it... I'm not sure if that counts as being clumsy or just ... actually there isn't an explanation.

7. Over the course of one day I spilt 9 pint glasses of water. 4 of them ended up on me. By the end of it I'd given up and looked like I'd been for a swim.

8. Okay. I was the one who dropped the cat in the bath. I think you had to be see it to  believe it.

9. I was working as a waitress at an art exhibition. Someone asked when the balcony was, so I pointed to the left - completely oblivious to the crate of champagne glasses I was carrying. So they then ended up on the floor. Yay.

10. On that note, at the same event I threw some tomato nibbles at a nice lady's dress. It looked like silk. I hope it wasn't.

11. I once punched myself in the face. Sufficiently hard enough to bruise.

12. Slammed a car door on my dads head.

13. I fell in the Thames.

14. I spent ages making a poster for a piece of coursework. To celebrate being done I tore up my notes. Turns out I tore up my poster.