Friday, 12 January 2018

| journal | 2018 | 01 | 12 | story time |

I’m going to tell you a story.

It’s the day my neighbours saw me half naked, standing on a roof, crying.

The backstory.

It was winter. It was raining. My dad was away for the weekend and I’d just broken up with my boyfriend of the time. I’d just returned home from a particularly cold and upsetting run. My kit was soaked through so I stripped down to just a sports bra and my shorties once inside.

Shivering, I’d run upstairs to jump in the shower, and put my phone on top of my drawers, grabbing a towel.
Turning the shower on, I locked the door (I will forever ask myself why) and went to get in the warm. I heard a clink.
My heart skipped a beat.

Surely not.

Turning back to look at the door, the locking mechanism had just fallen out, leaving me trapped inside.
Calmly, I tried to turn the handle, tried to reach in and move the latch, I tried everything before I went into full panic mode.

Just imagine me kicking the door, yelling, banging, EVERYTHING. I genuinely thought I was going to die. I’d told my friends post breakup that I wouldn’t really be replying to messages, and obviously my ex wasn’t going to come chasing up an absence. My dad wasn’t back til Tuesday, and trust him to have solid wood doors.
Then the contents of the cupboards came out. Everywhere. Lids were snapped in an effort to create a tool to get the lock open.
I bruised my knuckles punching the wood. I hurt my feet kicking at the door too.
Then I remembered the window.

By this point, I should mention that my bra had been discarded (ready to shower) and I couldn’t get it back on (was still frozen). Sighing, I did what a normal person would do and climbed out the window topless. Using one arm to cover my modesty, I stood on the roof, fully aware that any neighbours would have a sight to behold. And then.
Then I stood on a piece of metal and enough was enough. I was a crying, bleeding wreck, with very little dignity. See. I hadn’t really thought through this bit. I had to negotiate climbing off the roof without flashing everyone.
And it was bin day, so the bins were nowhere nearby.

Not only was I now in the garden, I still had to get back in the house.

I’m very adept at getting in via the back door, if have access to the shed. Which I did not.

So, the window had to go.

Okay so once I was inside, warm and dry things seemed a bit better. And my new foot injury meant I wouldn’t have to run for a bit. Win.

My favourite comment from my dad ‘well you had water and towels. You’d have been comfortable’


Tl;dr. My dad now keeps a spare key nearby for such emergencies.