sophie didn't do anything at all.

Friday, 31 January 2014

/ tall tales

This is tongue in cheek so don't get your knickers in a twist.

Quick bit of backstory. I lived in halls for first year of uni, there were 7 of us (I think. I now can't actually remember). It was fun.

We decided that year to host what will now forever be known as 'A very 2B Christmas'. How inventive.

The women were assigned jobs such as cooking and cleaning, whilst the men set about drinking. D, L and S were hardly your stereotypical manly men, but they rose to the challenge and cracked open bottles at around 11am. Oh hang on, I forgot about T, the boy from upstairs who at the time I was having an informal 'relationship' with (cheeky) - he also joined the Flat Christmas.


Drinking drinking drinking.

Then L. Then L started drinking too much. He stood up at dinner (I skipped the women cooking - far to mundane) and made a speech in Austrian. Unfortunately he mentioned Hitler twice before saluting, falling over backwards and speaking a language not known to any man alive. Before anyone bothered to stop him (entertainment) L had downed an entire bottle of red wine (on top of everything else) and only two glasses of white - the white wasn't as nice.

E and myself (she's a sensible woman) guided the poor sod to one of our plastic sofas where he adorned a Fez and regaled us with tales of his Asian ideals. Some time later D returned from a drinking session in his room with a bottle of Baileys. Our excitement was crushed when he filled a pint glass and handed it to L.

By this point L was beyond help but found the co-ordination to lift the beverage to his lips and consume it. Quickly. Seeing no reason to do otherwise, D handed him another glassful - the majority of which entered L's person. The rest. Elsewhere.

Thinking nothing of his condition, we turned on the T.V and opened presents. L, hearing a song he knew left the room, and we believe, the building.

We didn't see him for another 5 hours.

No one knows to this day where he went (though we sent out two search parties asking people if they'd seen a particularly irate Asian man). At one point he was sighted sleeping up against a door (standing up) and snoring. We lost the trail after that.

This is the most normal story I have about the guy.

love sophie


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